Thursday, April 21, 2005

All I Want for Christmas is a Taser and a Snake

This will be a quick post. I just read the cutest little article. Apparently soldiers emailed top military brass a "wish list" of "detainee tactics". Some might say "detainee tactics" were just a euphemism for torture, but we know the military categorically opposes torture because politicians and military leaders have told us so. Sure, some detainees died, but in the larger sceheme of things, many were just maimed and severely traumatized for life.

Here's a partial wish list:

--Use snakes on detainees
--Stuff 'em into sleeping bags
--Beat 'em with batons (PLEASE!!!)
--Open-hand strikes
--Closed-fist strikes
--Claustrophobic techniques
--Striking with phone books (preferably from a large city, New York, perhaps)
--Low-voltage electrocution
--Inducing muscle fatigue
--Dress up as Santa Claus and say "Merry Christmas", then pantomime like you're looking at your naughty and nice list and then go, "Sorry, you were a bad boy this year," and then leave. DON'T GIVE THEM A GIFT! Ha. That's a good one.
--Draw things on them
--Make them watch Dirty Dancing II: Havana Nights and have male detainees reenact the dance numbers with one another while we watch and drink beer
--Make them have sex with me. you know, to humiliate them. they'd hate that.

If I didn't have to run the list would be longer. Feel free to add on.

6 comments:

DogsDontPurr said...

Make them go without cable and high speed internet?

DogsDontPurr said...

Opps....I meant to add, "That would REALLY be torture!"

Redlobo said...

Give them jobs at McDonalds.

Laura Swisher said...

Here's the thing about torture: Civilized societies shouldn't engage in it, especially if they presume to beacons of democracy, which the US does. So while it's repugnant that terrorists commit atrocities, we can't use their awful acts to justify the torture of prisonors in our control. And redefining the word torture doesn't count. We shouldn't sink so low. That's my point.

Laura Swisher said...

My point is that torture is torture, period. No one is equating panties on the head with beheadings. The only thing stupider than putting panties on a prisoner's head, is taking pictures of it that will inevitably leak out to the public. Prisoners have died in our custody who were beaten to death, tortured to death. To say, "They did it too!" as a defense is unacceptable. And there should be more outcry about our soldiers dying, especially when they're put in the field without adequate armor or protection. That, too, is awful.

Butternut said...

I'm sure some guys' pay extra for the panties on the head thing.

Our treatment of POW's has made me sick.