Monday, August 22, 2005

Guess Who's a Philanthropist?

Is it bad to put Philanthropist on one's resume? Last night I was incredibly selfless and went to a benefit for FINCA, an organization that helps poor families from around the world start their own businesses (or something like that). The important thing to know is that I put down thirty bucks to help this organization out. Never mind that my friend Ethan, who hosted the event, provided free sangria and a bounty of appetizers to nibble on. I was there not for the party, but for the people.

Obviously, this is just the kind of selfless act that God notices and tries to reward. I'm sure most people get a pat on the back in the afterlife, or an offhanded comment from God like, "Hey, what you did back there with the poor...that was cool." I got my high five from God right away, in the form of a raffle prize. God was all, "Laura, you're amazing. Know what? I'm gonna make sure you win a free foot reflexology session worth $85 dollars." And then He made it happen.

So I feel pretty good about myself today. I helped the poor. More importantly, I'll get a free massage.

So if any of you all are, like me, good and decent people, you should help out this organization.

P.S. I ALSO performed at said benefit, and gave the gift of laughter. I am so wonderful!

5 comments:

duboisist said...

Micro-lending is a great idea and a great cause. I wish someone would figure out how to make it work in the U. S.
I guess someone will have to make it into a reality tv show or something.
But, what do I know? I'm one of the "morally inferior individuals".

BTW, I'm black and at this point in my life I find being called racist more amusing than anything else, but I do find being told to be ashamed of myself emasculating.
Thanks alot, Ms. Philanthropist.

DogsDontPurr said...

Wait a minute! Isn't that like neposism of something? You're working the show AND you get the prize?!

And what about all the poor people that can't afford a massage??!

Ok...I'm just jealous! (*wink!*)

Butternut said...

Sounds like a good gig, $85 plus food plus a $30 tax write off.

I give about half my income every year to the IRS charity. I never got a raffle prize, just threats that if I didn't do my paperwork correctly there would be legal action and guys in black suits and sunglasses at my door. I don't know why I keep giving every year.

You give us the gift of laughter almost every day, Laura! I predict more raffle prizes in your future, or foot massages.

$85, wow that's 4.25 lap dances. I convert everything to Vegas currency now.

Trey Goals said...

I think that's wonderful, Laura.

I'd also encourage people to give generously to the good people at
http://www.npach.org

as I am one of those good people.

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