Friday, September 02, 2005

If We Stop Buying SUVs, the Hurricanes Win

Look, this has been a horrible week. The images of people wading through sewage, elderly folk dying, and record-high gas prices have caused a lot of us to wonder how this could happen in one of our greatest cities. But it's important that we remain calm and level-headed.

As we grapple with the disaster that is Hurricane Katrina, I am urging Americans not to act irrationally. So please, everyone, now is not the time to question our energy policy. This is not the time for science, and it's definitely not the time to stop buying costly SUVs for fear of rising gas prices.

If we start questioning man's role in this, try pointing fingers at corporations or at politicians that fight for the right of factories to emit pollutants into the air, then the hurricanes win. We need to stand together in this time of need, and pitch in to help our great country out.

How can you help? Aside from, you know, giving something to poor people, you should live your life as you would otherwise live it. If you were planning on purchasing an SUV, or some other luxury item, follow through with that.

Another thing you can do is contact your representatives in the House and Senate and let them know it's time we abolish the estate tax. As we watch the devastation in New Orleans unfold, do we need to add to that by allowing our millionaires get gouged by an unfair tax?

Imagine if, this evening, the Hilton parents were to die in, say, a plane crash. Paris and Whatshername Hilton would probably only receive millions and millions of dollars in inheritance. That's it. Millions and millions. Guess who would get the rest? The government, or a crappy charity.

We can NOT let this happen!!!

Fortunately, our good friends in the Republican party are seeing to it that we vote on this important issue Tuesday. If you care about America at all, you'll support fellow millionaire American by voicing outrage. People are DYING right now. Don't also let this bill DIE.

Do not let the hurricanes win.

6 comments:

melloman said...

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duboisist said...

You might want to consider the effect on New Orleans tourism

First the tsunami, now this. What ever will the sex tour industry do?

Butternut said...
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Butternut said...

Great headline.

Let the rich people keep their money. Think of Fendi, Gucci, and DeBeers. They might all go out of business if we let this bill fail. Then the knockoff handbag business will have no one to copy. Utter chaos I tell you!

Maybe American gas prices will finally reach European prices. I think most of what we pay per gallon is just taxes though. I'm too lazy to research at the moment, having failed finding out what the current pound/liter price of petrol is in the UK.

Would you accept fan fiction episodes of "Joanie loves Chachi?" I have the damn Happy Days theme in my head all the time now. Damn you Laura/Weezy! It took me 15 years to get that out! Now I'll have to watch Nickelodeous or something to exercise the demons.

Butternut said...

OOoh. Mork from Ork started on Happy Days... interesting. Muahaha

Butternut said...
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