CBS Cares...a Little Too Much

I saw this PSA on a flight and thought it was funny. Then I realized, "Oh wait. This is an actual PSA." I really want to see what would happen if men took CBS' advice. And if any of my male readers wants to take this challenge, please let me know your lady's reaction. Seriously. I'd really like to know.

Canadian Thanksgiving

Spending Thanksgiving with friends today. I'm charged with bringing an appetizer for dinner. The host wants deviled eggs. I guess I'll be making deviled eggs.

Wishing you all good eats and good company today.

Diamonds Don't Say Christmas...

as much as reindeer dung does. For that special person in your life this holiday season, let them know you care with a reindeer dung necklace. They're $15 from the Miller Park Zoo in Bloomington, IL. Better buy one soon before the zoo runs out of shit.

Also, you're welcome.

Genocide Made Adorable!

I don't remember being in this play at school. This video is from Landlinetv.com. I happened to stumble upon their site today, and since I don't have a ton of free time to produce anything original, I might as well point to others who do.

Enjoy.

182 Lbs. Today

I'm super tired. I stepped on my old-fashioned bathroom scale today and it turns out I weigh 182 pounds, give or take a few stones. I always set it higher than what I actually weigh to motivate me. But, man, it is a pain in the ass to have to post this on my blog. I mean, I love to share my weight with others, but it's so time consuming. Fortunately, the Withings company has come out with a Twitter-enabled WiFi scale that will tweet a user's weight as often as the user deems appropriate. The scale costs almost $200 so I have to find out if they have a payment plan. I'm gonna get it, though.

How often should I update my weight? Every time I step on the scale or just every day?

I love technology!

Back from Guantanamo...

Just got back from a week at Gitmo where I travelled with the band Bridge of Sighs documenting their performances on the military base. In his free time, band leader Tom Neely gave us a fantastic tour of the island and a glimpse into life on the base.

Some Gitmo fun facts: a $10,000 fine is issued to anyone who makes the mistake of killing an iguana. Iguanas run rampant on the base and are protected by the military. They also like to take their time crossing the streets.

Guantanamo is a great place to be if you like water sports. I was able to go snorkeling and night fishing on the trip. I also went go cart racing, hit at the batting cages and observed soldiers spend their leisure time playing kickball, softball, volleyball, flag football, weightlifting and swimming.

Getting to the base from Los Angeles is a commitment. It involves three flights, two bus rides and a ferry.

If I have an opportunity to go back, I'll definitely take it.

Reminder: Halloween's Just Around the Corner

I think this is my favorite costume of HuffPo's "Most Inappropriate Halloween Costumes".

Virginity Obsessions Are Scary

Because they make fake hymen kits necessary in many parts of the world. And if there's outrage over fake condoms, no doubt men will be suspicious of them in the future.

Playboy Makes You Gay

This is Michael Schwartz, Senator Tom Coburn's (R-OK) Chief of Staff. In this video he asserts that "all pornography is homosexual pornography". Why? Because "it turns your sexuality inward." I'm not sure exactly what that means, unless Michael's erections are different than the rest of the male population. I don't actually want to know.

He also thinks that this is a good message to tell young boys. If they watch porn, they're gay. That'll make 'em think twice.

Michael delivered this address at the Values Voter summit. Here's the irony. Those areas where folks are the most religious in this country, also happen to be the areas with the highest teen pregnancy rates. Many of those states are the ones in favor of "Abstinence Only" programs, which do not work. Mississippi promoted religion and abstinence at a rally featuring Granada High School cheerleaders chanting: "Stop! Don't touch me there! This is my no no square!" Because that's a sure-fire way to get teens to abstain, have them invoke the cool phrase "my no no square." I remember the first time I used the phrase. It was last week. I was on a second date with a guy. We kissed. I then told him, "Listen, I think you're great. I just want you to know that until there's a ring on my finger, you won't be able to touch my no no square." I haven't heard from him again.

It's clear he wasn't right for me. I'm now going to come up with other chants I think the kidz will enjoy. Feel free to share any suggestions you may have.

Scary Glenn Beck

I'm not sure I can trust anything Glenn Beck says until he's able to prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that he did not, in fact, rape and murder a young girl in 1990.

I don't understand why he hasn't denied this claim on his show or made any attempt to prove his innocence. He must be guilty. That's the ONLY explanation possible. Right?

Why Obesity Matters

I think I've made my point.

How to Hike During Wildfire Season

Thanks to the current fires, weekend hiking is no longer an option. This morning a fellow hiker emailed me a solution to our woes. Hiking club is back on!

Poop Trap!

I almost think this is a good idea. My only concern is: If my dog uses poop trap indoors, what happens when she sits down or rolls on her back? That worries me.

But everything else about this product seems wonderful...except for the embarrassment factor of the dog, which would be huge.

Speaking Truth to Power

That pic was from a New Hampshire blog, and it really crystallized what this whole health care debate should be about: Bringing "Arrested Development" back to our televisions. I know the politicians will try and water this down with a "motion picture option", and Republicans will probably try and kill it with a free market "10-minute-interstitial" approach to the show, but progressives need to stand strong. We need to demand a weekly 1/2 hour with at least a 13-episode pick-up.

Are you listening, Obama? Who's with me?

One Armed Woman Strong-Arms Clothing Co.

A one-armed sales assistant was fired from Abercrombie & Fitch for refusing to hide her disabililty
from customers:

Dean claims that when she told A&F about her disability after getting the job, the firm agreed she could wear a white cardigan to cover the link between her prosthesis and her upper arm. But shortly afterwards, she was told she could not work on the shop floor unless she took off the cardigan as she was breaking the firm's "look policy". She told the tribunal that someone in the A&F head office suggested she stay in the stockroom "until the winter uniform arrives".

Unacceptable! Why would she refuse to work in the stockroom? When I go to the mall, I shouldn't have to witness other peoples' imperfections. When I get a corn dog from Hot Dog on a Stick, I want to look at beautiful employees. If these kinds of frivolous lawsuits are allowed to proceed, well, I don't even want to think about it. What's next? Breast cancer survivors working at Victoria's Secret? Am I right?!

Enough is enough.

Obama = Hitler

I wish this weren't true, but the evidence is irrefutable.

"Bob Roberts" Was Way Ahead of Its Time

I remember loving the film "Bob Roberts" when it came out. If the soundtrack were for sale, I'd have bought it. Tim Robbins plays a folk-singing right wing politician who ridicules and denounces the poor and celebrates capitalism. Bob Roberts was a brilliant character. The weird thing is, it appears as if there are real life "Bob Roberts" wanna bes. Listen to this cute little folk ditty:



Now watch this one from the fictional Bob Roberts:



I highly recommend this flick if you haven't seen it already. I may need to watch it again. I suspect it won't be as funny the second time around.

"You Make Somebody a Bridesmaid and They Sh*t All Over You"

That's one of my favorite lines from "Sixteen Candles", one of the few movies I can actually quote. I think I was the last person in the office to read about the passing of John Hughes.

Very sad news. He's definitely in my pop culture pantheon of people whose work occupied a special place in my heart growing up. "Sixteen Candles", "Breakfast Club", "Weird Science", "National Lampoon's Vacation"...all classics.

He'll be missed.

AIM Hate

I've been super busy, apparently since Michael Jackson's death. Today I write because I am petty and annoyed. My AIM account was hacked and I can no longer access it. And I learned that AOL has no connection to AIM accounts so if you're hacked, there's virtually no recourse. I may have filed some form or other, but have no confidence the issue will be resolved.

One teachable moment has come from this: From now I I will only use associate free email accounts with accounts from any websites I use. For example, I don't know what my Flickr.com password is, and because I no longer have the email account I used to set up the page, I'm forever blocked from the account.

Frustrating. I'm sorry to inflict this on anyone else.

Done complaining.

For now.

L.

Remembering Michael

I've had a few thoughts about Michael Jackson today and I thought I'd post a brief compilation.

9:30ish am - Just walked into work, saw news coverage. Thought there was an extremely slow car chase involving a black stretch limo.There's not.

10:00 am - Just thinking about my asexual encounter with MJ back in 1991. We were backstage after a concert. I couldn't have been less turned on, and the feeling was mutual. It was magical.

Queen Latifah's reading of a Maya Angelou poem at MJ's memorial service reminded me of a beautifully succinct poem the great Maya Angelou wrote for me. It said, "Never contact me again. I'm serious. This isn't a poem."

Watching the memorial really puts life and death into perspective. I realize now that I don't want a simple service when I die. I'm thinking I'd like my funeral to be held either at the Hollywood Bowl or Ravinia.

I'm going to go back to the wall to wall coverage now. Kobe and Magic Johnson are talking.