Monday, March 28, 2005

Proof Frat Boys Are Secretly Gay

First of all, it should go without saying that anything captured on video will definitely find its way to the Internet. So if you're in a fraternity whose mission statement reads: To champion a lifelong committment to brotherhood, learning, ethical leadership and exemplary character, you might want to think twice about starring in a porno with other ethical leaders in your brotherhood. Granted, the temptation to have intercourse next to one of your buddies is indeed overwhelming, but think of the resultant bad PR when the story gets out. This is the kind of story that gives university officials nightmares. After all, parents generally don't like to spend thousands and thousands of dollars at an institution that will turn their babies into porn stars, especially if their babies are wealthy enough to be in a fraternity in the first place.
And now for the irony. Fraternities are usually hotbeds of homophobia. I mean, nothing screams "straight" more than khaki pants and keg parties. So why the urge to fornicate with your frat brothers? I haven't actually seen the video so I don't know exactly what happens, but it's apparently sexual in nature. Also, the video is purportedly being distributed by a company out of Van Nuys, and everybody knows Van Nuys is synonymous with porn. Here's the thing: Girls Gone Wild has a huge market share in the male demographic. Guess who Frat Boys Gone Wild appeals to? If you're thinking women, think again. It's men.
So on behalf of gay men everywhere, I just want to thank the boys at Chico State for the decision they now claim to regret.

5 comments:

Amadeo said...

That explains the pledgee abuse.

Pall Mall said...

Secret? I was in a fraternity during college. And let me let you, everyone was so homophobic that they just didn't realize they were gay. Thank God for the porn companies that make it possible to come out of the closet.

The Blah Brain said...

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