Remembering Michael

I've had a few thoughts about Michael Jackson today and I thought I'd post a brief compilation.

9:30ish am - Just walked into work, saw news coverage. Thought there was an extremely slow car chase involving a black stretch limo.There's not.

10:00 am - Just thinking about my asexual encounter with MJ back in 1991. We were backstage after a concert. I couldn't have been less turned on, and the feeling was mutual. It was magical.

Queen Latifah's reading of a Maya Angelou poem at MJ's memorial service reminded me of a beautifully succinct poem the great Maya Angelou wrote for me. It said, "Never contact me again. I'm serious. This isn't a poem."

Watching the memorial really puts life and death into perspective. I realize now that I don't want a simple service when I die. I'm thinking I'd like my funeral to be held either at the Hollywood Bowl or Ravinia.

I'm going to go back to the wall to wall coverage now. Kobe and Magic Johnson are talking.

Best Local News Story EVER

Enjoy.

My Neighbor the Charmer

I'm very fortunate to have a neighbor like this. Isn't he wonderful?!

Disappointment Brought to You by AT&T

Have a bunch of writing to get done today, but I can always make time to complain about crappy Internet service. I have AT&T service. Several times a day, for no apparent reason, I am unable to connect to the Internet and have to "check" my Internet connection. I'm supposed to have one of the fastest connection speeds, but downloads aren't that fast. How is it that Americans pay more money for crappier service than people in, say, Japan?

I'm not the only one complaining about AT&T. Mythbuster Adam Savage isn't terribly happy with the company either. $11,000 bills will do that to you.

This concludes my AT&T complaining.

Lurn English, Immigrant!

This is kind of great. America's favorite immigrant basher Pat Buchanan attended the "Building a New Majority" conference this past weekend. Word on the street is they're going to try and go after "white democrats" by pushing English-only policies. When in doubt, stoke racism.

Check out the conferenece's [sic] banner. If English were so important to this crowd, you'd think they might respect it.

Coitus Galactica

The final frontier might not be space, but sex in space. This week aerospace executives will descend on Paris for the Paris Air Show hawking planes, weapons and all manner of intergalactic technology. It doesn't appear there's a lot of government interest in investing in space exploration these days. How might enterprising space flacks persuade policy makers to untie their purse strings and invest in exploration again? If male and female astronauts were getting it on in space, no doubt the public would clamor for more more more! Here's an excerpt from a Bloomberg article that cites Neil Armstrong's official biographer James Hansen:

As Hansen tells it, a little hanky panky and a few flutes of Champagne followed by a luxury meal from Jules Verne’s Michelin three-star chef Alain Ducasse would civilize outer space and arouse generations weaned on “Star Trek” fiction to persuade global leaders into spending the money required to make galactic travel a reality.

“That’s what Jules Verne did in ‘From Earth to the Moon,’” Hansen says. “Verne’s science-fiction stories were the original inspiration for the people who launched NASA’s Mercury, Gemini and Apollo programs.”

Actually, I don't see why we'd need the government at all. The first reality show that broadcasts space nooky will get huge ratings and rake in tons of advertising revenue. And don't get me started on how much money they could make if they offered livestream footage. They could very well raise enough cash to pay for "Big Brother 20" on Mars.

What's Going on in Russia?

Why are there so many bizarre stories coming out of that country?

Today I came across another one. A Russian woman is on trial for raping ten men. TEN! It makes you wonder, "Did these men not speak Russian?" Because the easiest way to get a man to sleep with you is to say, "Sleep with me." It usually works.

I guess this woman drugged them, probably didn't want to experience those annoying post coital conversations men are so fond of. My favorite part of the article?

At present, police know about 10 victims, although one of them refused to file a complaint against her.

The unnamed man said he “like hot women,” and thought the assault “was great.” He wished he hadn’t been drugged, however.

Men and women really ARE different!