Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Shit Your Pants and Other Sure-fire Dating Techniques




After this guy gets out of jail, he needs to write a book. As any woman can tell you, hearing the same old pick-up lines day in, day out, can wear us down. Women like a man who is original, and financial analyst William Muckalow is definitely that.

Instead of bragging about his financial worth, or wasting a lot of time trying to court a lady, William pretended he was retarded.

According to WCHS8 (no surprise this happened in West Virginia):
"He came to the door in a green onesy with a diaper full and a binky in his mouth. He acted like a 3-year-old child."

Court documents allege William Mucklow pretended to be his own mother on phone interviews arranging for health care workers to come to his home.
.

Does this story sadden me? Of course it does. This is yet another example of how women think they can change a man. I've said it before and I'll say it again: If your lover has downs syndrome, he's always going to have downs syndrome. Don't think he'll change just because he has the love of a good woman.

Breaks my heart.

13 comments:

Ben Hughes said...

Right next to that article, there's a thumbnail pic for "Baby Steps - Vital Parenting Information from Jennifer McAndrews and Dr. Joe Matusic". XD

Tim said...

In my fairly sincere experience women of this country are most attracted to two scenarios when meeting a man: a) he's incarcerated and b) he's in rehab. A close third is c) he's married with children.

PS I worked for the DMR in a fair number of Residential settings and I've NEVER seen a full grown individual, no matter what kind of retardation wear either a onesy or use a fucking bink. I think the retarded invidual in your story was the woman herself.

I should create a Yahoo personal account claiming to be in jail for 3 more years... no 5 more.

Clinton Freeman said...

On the opposite side of the article was a thumbnail for "Virginia Wildlife"

I have a title for a book on the subject Skidmarks for Love.

You need not fret, Laura. Your shear awesomeness might make some guys crap their pants but they would be too embarrassed to let you find out.

Clinton Freeman said...

Come to think of it, isn't it usually the retard who pretends he's a financial analyst?

Tim said...

Clinton,

We're all retarded I guess but to me the moral of this particular story is that it's the desperate housewives who pretend not to be.

He's going to get jailtime but she has to tell a Judge "I thought he was fondling my breasts because he was um - hungry."

Clinton Freeman said...

If I have to choice which is worse, being a woman who gets conned or a grown man with a binky, I'd have to say the guy acting like a baby to cop a feel is far, far worse.
I confess to having acted stupid around women and I guess I will again, but I hope I haven't acted retarded too often and that I won't do so in the future.
Although I'm not as awesome as the Swish (who is) I think my awesomeness can stand on its own without me having to resort to lies and tricks.

Tim said...

I'm not sure what you mean by "far worse" but note: the man was aware of what he was doing. The woman claims she was not.

Clinton Freeman said...

This will be my last round.

Worse = less moral.

Man degrading himself to abuse women + knows it = criminal + weak-ass-diaper-creamy-filling.

Woman who something is done to, without her knowledge, therefore, without her consent = victim.

Criminal less moral than victim.

Tim said...

Well I'm going to assume your defending the woman in the example tooth and nail because our host is a member said party.

In my humble experience, a woman is 100 times more likely to play the "um I didn't know this was happening" card than a man is go WEAR DIAPERS to get her attention.

I know a good handfull of women who satisfy the former condition and not a single man who satisfies the latter.

cCc said...

Hey clinton...

Any chance of us hooking up
maybe?

Ni ce Mug s h ot

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