I come across a lot of eyebrow-raising stories that I don't write about because they're disturbing for one reason or another, or because the stories themselves are sophomoric in nature. And this story falls within that category, and yet something compells me to write about it.
This past week I went to a show in Los Angeles called Mortified. It was surprisingly good. The idea is that regular people re-live their most embarrassing life-moments by reading from their personal diaries on stage. Actually, it could be songs or poetry, or any form of embarrassing personal expression that harkened back to a deeply important time in the person's life, usually adolescence. And it was really refreshing to listen to these candid entries read aloud fifteen, twenty, thirty-odd years later, especially when the subjects dated themselves by referring, say, to Bon Jovi's "Blaze of Glory". Anyway, the readings were generally both hilarious and poignant at the same time.
So when I caught this news story, and see that a 19 year old was busted for this crime, I can't think of anything more mortifying than getting arrested for stealing a hand held vagina...especially when the cops ascertain that the, uh, evidence, has been used, and that the time between the theft and apprehension of the guilty party was ten minutes. Wow.
I'm wondering if this poor kid will be able to stand on a stage one day and tell strangers about what I presume to be the worst day of his life. I'm really hoping this was the worst day of his life, and I'm hoping that in ten or twenty years this will be a great story for him to tell.
Then again, he might be the type of guy who, twenty years from now, people could easily see committing this type of crime:
"You know Bob?"
"I heard he got busted for stealing a fake snatch."
"Really? I'm not actually surprised by that."
I hope he doesn't turn out to be the creepy adult version.