Monday, May 15, 2006

Just Let Teachers Teach!

I am tired of concerned parents getting in the way of teachers. If a teacher wants to give his students an essay assignment in which they describe whom they would murder and how, that's his business. That's called creativity. And if that teacher teaches drafting, well, that's inspirationa.


Butternut said...

Only 25-30 students in his class? Lucky bastards.

I would murder people with annoying ringtones and people who advertise annoying ring tones on TV. They all need to pay. I'd strap two cell phones to their head, one over each ear, and tatoo their cell numbers on their foreheads. Anyone who hated them could call them any time they wanted and the victim would be forced to listen to whatever torturous ring tones I can find. MC Hammer, to start with. Then that stupid frog thing. I don't think the ring tones would actually kill them. So I'd just drown them in a vat of their own feces.

Can I go out and play now?

Tim said...

I don't want to murder anyone but I would certainly bitch slap a few:

1) Little white boys who call themselves thugs
2) Beyonce for cashing in on the destruction of womens rights
3) Anyone who has ever said "I don't know what I would do without my iPod"
4) LOST fans
5) 24 fans
6) Die hard republicans
7) Die hard democrats
8) Morning radio dj's
9) Sean Hanity - I'd punch him
10) Lindsay Lohans agent
11) Joe Torre
12) Farkers
13) Lottery addicts
14) Matt Lauer
15) Matt Drudge

I could probably go to 100.

Laura Swisher said...


Clinton Freeman said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Clinton Freeman said...

little time
condensed version

will elaborate on W&TS messageboard

I would prefer they teach nonviolent conflict resolution techniques.

No killing people just because they are different, even if they are really, really annoying.

I like 24.
I believe in nonviolence and hope to always behave accordingly if when called "a douche", but if anybody slaps me I'm slapping them right back.

What is there about Joe Torre to dislike?

I'm pretty much in agreement with Tim's list, but I want to elaborate on his top 3 later.

Tim said...

Laura you have to know what farkers are.

Joe Torre because he single handedly represents the removal of the "pastime" part of The Great American Pastime. He is a miserable sumbitch who would eat his own children. 24 for the stupid camera pans. I do not want Beyonce and I had a Walkman in the 80's and it was only so much fun then to walk around in your own world. It wasn't a status symbol like it is now.

Clinton Freeman said...

I googled "farkers" and it didn't help.

Joe Torre -- "And?"
George Steinbrener and Charlie Finley did much, much worse with their salaries and stadium demands. Besides, it's been all downhill since they let the blacks play again

I like the writing on 24. If my vision was better I might agree with you.

Tim said...

I really have nothing against 24. Except my attention span is WAY too short for 24 episodes!

Joe Torre - three words: Red Sox Nation. I am a lifer with the Sox, so.

FARK, kids, is a website. Folks send in crazy headlines with "humorous" captions hoping they will make the front page. If they do, they are posted upon in the hundreds by the inhabitants of said site. For the record, they are the worst the internet has to offer minus pedophiles. The. Worst. Just this a.m. I thought "maybe I am too harsh on them" and went to their site and read a horrific news story (I'll spare ye the story because it killed me) and page after page of the most insensitive wisecracking. Now I am a wisecracker myself, but I'm not competing for insensitivity. Have a look see for yourself.

VagabondLoafer said...

I agreed with 60 Minutes commentator Andy Rooney when he said that ten percent of our teachers are worthless and should be fired outright. I thought that percentage was too conservative. The following Sunday after being flooded with tons of hate mail from teachers Rooney wisely upped his figure to twenty percent.

Son of Gigan said...

If memory serves me, Laura herself is a Farker. It was nice knowing you, Swish...

Laura Swisher said...

I do, indeed, visit Fark. I don't know if I consider myself a "Farker". But maybe I am.

dyb said...

Don't be a Farker. Be a Something Awful goon. Our Photoshop contests are way better, and you can get banned for telling Chuck Norris jokes.

Tim said...

If your registered, you might be a Farker. Aw you knew what a farker was and I went through all that anyway?


Tim said...

Aw c'mon Swish - give us something to rant about and I'll post a link to a new video of you that's "circulating" the net. By "circulating" I mean recently uploaded and viewed only 8 times!

Laura Swisher said...

I'm not registered as a Farker, so I'm probably not "a Farker." I just wondered why a Farker would end up on your list. I visit the site to look for interesting stories.

Anyhoo, got a new post for you.

Tim said...

Me equals hypocrite! DAMN I hate being a hypocrite! After ragging on Fark earlier this week I found myself checking them out for the most current headlines.

/flogs self with pine branch

It's just the competition element of being dry - some little kid lost her hand in the tour of a candy factory in NY earlier this week (first story I saw on Fark) and it was the funniest thing those people had ever heard of. I know the world is spinning out of control, and I may be a wry bastard, but I'm not yet ready to laugh at something like that yet. Hopefully ever.

I registered! /flogs self with guard rail