Friday, January 12, 2007

An Alternative to Alcoholics Anonymous

I think this story might inspire public health officials to "think outside the box" when contemplating solutions to our national drug and alcohol addiction problems. Too often we place addicts in rehab where, unfortunately, there's an extremely high recidivism rate. So far that's proved to be the most effective way of dealing with addiction. After reading that article, I'm starting to wonder if owls aren't the way to go--attack owls. I truly think users could kick their habits if they were supervised by owls that would swoop down on them if they tried to use. Have their been any studies on this? Is anyone in the mental health field that can share this idea with other doctors? Let's get on this, people.


Clinton Freeman said...

My guess is, to work the owl has to be more selective to be most effective.
One option is to only attack people who are high, but other people still might not believe the addict. Moreover, the person might be so high they won't believe it either.
The owls need to hang around bars and shooting galleries and attack just as somebody is about to have "too much."
Sort of an owl sobriety test.

Tim said...

I raised a Northern Pygmy Owl to adulthood having found it a ball of fluff in the woods - conversely I worked with downs syndrome and paranoid schizophrenics while in college. I rate then evenly in terms of companionship but he paranoid schizophrenics might be slightly more dangerous if trained to attack.

Bernard said...

Oh my God! You are so right. I am an alcoholic cruising the web seeking an alternative to AA. And there it was, over my head, all the time. When do people get most pissed? after dark. When are owls at their most efficient? after dark. It is a common myth that owls can see in the dark, they can't. They hunt by sound. What look like eyes to us are in fact sonar collectors. What is the first sign that a person has had too much booze? The raising of the voice, the braying laugh, the argumentative tone. The owl sweeps in, in the silent way they do, and takes a chunk out. Have you seen the claws and beak on an owl? That's a warning. Next time, your pissed and staggering, stop for a pee in an alley. Swoooooop. You were warned! And just in case you think we are talking males here the owl can't eat a whole penis in one go, but a clitoris is just a bite.

I'm scaring myself now, so I'll stop.

Bernard said...

Shit, I am truly fucked. As I sit here I am listening to a BBC Radio programme about Eagle Owls, two foot high! Oh sheeeet! invading Yorkshire, and eating(alright, attacking) dogs. Yorkshire is only about 300 miles away. I am going back to AA, right this minute.

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