Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Why the Writer's Strike Matters

Thanks to *everyone who noticed my return to the blog. Can't say that I'll be posting regularly again, but the current writer's strike has driven me to, well, write. Why am I breaking my silence now? Because before it was just something in the news happening far far away from me (351 miles, to be exact). Then "The Office" ran out of fresh episodes and my world became a tiny bit darker, but still manageable.

I recently learned, however, that the strike has ruined an upcoming trip to Vancouver, and anything that stands between me and Canada is deeply unsettling to me. You see, I was planning on doing a number of set visits early next year to shows that tape in the "Other, Colder, Los Angeles". Shows like "Smallville", "Kyle XY", "Battlestar Gallactica", etc. That trip has now been postponed. Indefinitely.

My writer friends have been agitating about the strike since its inception, dutifully explaining why it's so important their demands are met by the AMPTP. Things like getting a percentage of the profits from new media, and other needling concerns involving writers of Reality Television and animated shows. Naturally, I couldn't quite follow it all since I am not a WGA member. It didn't personally affect me.

Had someone sat me down and explained to me in simple English that--"Laura, if the producers refuse to consider the writers' reasonable demands, you won't be able to go to Canada..."--I totally would have been on board from the get go. In fact, I would have been on the picket lines. And, of course, today I learn about the cancellation of the winter TCA press tour, which means one less trip to LA, one less chance to swill free alcohol and enjoy green room snackies. It's awful.

Point being, I DO know how serious this strike is now. So to the two people that still read this, make your voices heard. Support the writers
. Let producers know it's time to put an end to their money-grubbing ways and make a deal...so that I can go to Canada.

*Two people


"Z" said...

I'd also like 2 welcome you back Swish-)Funny how things happening in the world do seem so far away but the minute it effects you it puts it on point. Kinda like small town shootings & stuff. I must admit, I didn't know that reality shows had writers?!? Doesn't that kinda take the reality out of the reality show?? Hope your writers friends demands get met & you get that trip to canada! Holla

ballgame said...

Glad to see you stopped back and hope you update a little more frequently. Vancouver is Teh Awesome, btw, and I can see why you'd be upset.

Butternut said...

#3 woo!

I thought Toronto was Hollywood North (not to be confused with North Hollywood)? Sorry you don't get to go to Canada, or L.A. for that matter. Maybe this will just make way for a trip to London to visit the BBC as the networks grab shows to fill the slots!

You think there's reality shows on now? I heard they ordered a ton of new ones to fill in the missing time they will have from the strike. Who wants to be a teenage dancing bug-eating bachelor millionaire now?

tankboy2902 said...

Screw posting regularly, this doesn’t pay any bills. I ask one thing of you; be funny or ironic. OK, that’s two things, but you seem to count the same way I do,
see your post. “Two people noticed” my ass.

As usual I enjoyed your post, because like the others it contains an important life
lesson. The lesson is you got fucked out of a free trip, and you want, no; DEMAND! payback.

I got fucked out of a free trip to Beijing. Beautiful, smoggy, tinky, hustling, bustling BEIJING! And I’m not talking coach either. Business class! BUSINESS CLASS!

To miss out on a chance to sip champagne and lord over the proletariat (=coach) on
a 14-hour flight from Washington to Beijing, this is my eternal shame. I will carry my resentment to the grave (revenge is unfortunately impossible, and not just because of state and federal law) (it’s a long goddamned story, you don’t need the details).

From this unfortunate event I have decided on my dying words, and they are to be as enigmatic and profound as “Rosebud”. They are to be “business class, motherfucker.”

I’m not 100% on the “motherfucker.” If the person holding me in their arms as I die
is Mel Gibson or a cop I’m definitely going with “motherfucker.” If the person
is as hot as Laura I’ll go with the standard “can I get your numbaaahhhhhhh!?” (head rolls back, eyes close slowly, Laura weeps, camera pulls back into wide shot, cue weepy music, roll credits) *. If it’s anyone else it’ll be “business class, man, you gotta promise me you’ll never settle for less…aaaahhhhhhh.”

OK, I’m back. After all that mess, all I can say to the WGA and the studios is, “settle your shit!” And settle it by May, not October (it’s Canada, after all). The
Swish awaits her junket. And because of all the bullshit delays (arguing about pay, is that what the hell the strike is about? Pussies.) she’s owed no less than a suite, room service comped (INCLUDING THE MINI-BAR), and a limo to the studios. And the dog stays for free. And Canada keeps the poop, no picking it up.

* Director yells “CUT!”, Laura drops your head on the concrete, heads for her trailer, berates her PA. “You finished walking Bean? Did she shit? What color was
it? WHAT COLOR WAS IT? I TOLD YOU TO PAY ATTENTION!” Slams trailer door (it's de rigueur).

My novel comes out Tuesday.

Butternut, what kind of bugs? I eat shit all the time. Finally, a promotion!

Tim said...

Barring the kaibosh slapped on your trip to Canada I have to say fuck the writers and their strike. Talk about irony: in an age when the ditial interface before you has given everyone the inward belief that commenting on youtube videos they are pulitzer prize winning "authors" - and the creators of the videos themselves think they are all Academy Award winning directors, we have these paid writers holding back from us all the swelling tsunami of yucks we are absolutely an unable to get elsewhere because they just aren't getting paid well enough.

I've read funnier shit from complete and total strangers online than I expect to ever get from Leno or a CBS sitcom. Moreover I do not go to Leno or the CBS sitcom for these yucks.


Laughter for free.