Saturday, October 04, 2008

New & Improved Water

I'm no rocket surgeon, but I seriously doubt the Environmental Protection Agency would allow anything in our water supply that would be harmful to our health. If there's a little rocket fuel in our tap water, it just means we'll run a little bit faster than normal.

The EPA and FDA both use cutting edge science to protect us, and are the first to sound the alarm when they learn, via the latest science, that shit's bad for us. And the FDA recently discovered that shit is, in fact, bad for us, and swiftly imposed strict new regulations on the bottled water industry. They will require manufacturers to check their water for shit. And if shit is found in the water, then it will be prohibited.

I'm not sure if shitty water is prohibited right now, or if it goes into effect at a later date. Just to be safe, I'm going to stock up on as much refreshing E. Coli-enhanced water as I can, before it's no longer on the shelves.

1 comment:

Butternut said...

This sounds like a problem that needs to be rectified. I'm still going to use my water filter made from a dirty sock dipped in raw eggs. Even though the FDA says the water is safe when I lived in West L.A. it was undrinkable swamp sweat, and the Britta was powerless.

I prefer F. Coli and Broccoliform myself.

You're really cranking out the posts lately. Wow.