Thursday, October 09, 2008

Uncle Sam Unbuckles His Pants...

And cradles a phone in one hand and his freedom in the other. "I'm about to make you safe," he groans into the mouthpiece. On the other end, America's like, "Mmmmm...yeah. Protect me. Do whatever you want." And he's all, "I really want to record this conversation." And America's like, "Um...only if you think it will help keep terrorists from attacking us." And Uncle Sam's like, "Trust me. Now I'm liberating your mammaries from Al Brassiere-da"...

So the weirdest thing just came to light. It turns out that our government HAS been spying on us all along. ABC News just "broke" this story that no one could have anticipated. From ABC News:
Faulk says he and others in his section of the NSA facility at Fort Gordon routinely shared salacious or tantalizing phone calls that had been intercepted, alerting office mates to certain time codes of "cuts" that were available on each operator's computer.

"Hey, check this out," Faulk says he would be told, "there's good phone sex or there's some pillow talk, pull up this call, it's really funny, go check it out. It would be some colonel making pillow talk and we would say, 'Wow, this was crazy'," Faulk told ABC News.
This seems bad, but it's really not. As our president explained two years ago, the NSA program is "necessary to win the war".

I don't care what supposed facts come to light, it's always a good idea to expand the government's rights in the name of keeping us safe.


Butternut said...

Hey, maybe we can get the NSA and CIA employees to read your blog. You know, increase your viewership. I'll give you a hand.

Obama McCain Bush bomb secret Taliban South Park Israel Georgia Russia Saudi Arabia Laura Swisher 700 billion loan Goldman Sachs golden showers forest fires Sarah Palin you betcha moose.

You're welcome!

tankboy2902 said...

When my brother was in Europe and later Iraq we would have long conversations on the phone. We deliberately worked the words 'nuclear, shoot, bomb, reactor, critical, virus, secure, hacking, network, uranium, and plutonium' into the conversations just to screw with the computers. Those terms actually fit into the context of our jobs in the military. We figured with a navy guy at one end and an army guy at the other they'd only flag us and not f*ck with us. Now you're telling me we should have been talking about chicks and dicks.

Where's Get Smart when you need him?

In January he's supposed to go to Afghanistan so you know who everyone in my family is voting for. If you want to get your ass beaten by a 75 year old woman say 'bush' or 'mccain' around my mother. She's very healthy and has one hell of a memory. Apparently piss and vinegar are excellent preservatives.

I was in nuclear power in the navy; a propulsion plant watch officer in reactor department on the Eisenhower. My brother is in the signal corps and handles radios, telecommunications, and networks, all of it secure. The army doesn't fart into a phone without it being secure nowadays. There's no need for me to make ths stuff up. Someday I'll put a picture of us in my profile.