Tuesday, November 04, 2008

I Voted So Give Me Stuff

Look, I waited in line for 1/2 hour to dab ink dots on paper and I'm tired. If Starbucks and Krispy Kreme want to give me free coffee and donuts, I don't need no stinkin' national reporter to tell me this practice might be illegal. The whole point of voting is to let other people know you're better than them by wearing an "I voted" sticker and to get free products. Am I right? Don't answer that. I'm right. I know it.

Ben & Jerry's is offering free ice cream today, which is great, but I don't live near a Ben & Jerry's. Why isn't Baskin Robbins in on this? Why does B&R hate America? Regardless, I'm going to walk into my neighborhood Baskin Robbins and demand a free scoop. If they say no, I will never visit another Baskin Robbins for as long as I live. I suggest you all do the same.

I'm wasting valuable time writing this. I need to get my bribe on.

10 comments:

Geraldo Maia said...

Hello Laura,
It is a great pleasure to visit your nice and interesting blog for the first time.
Best wishes from Brazil:
Geraldo

anne lynn said...

pffft - communist ops like baskin robbins don't support the socialistic "wealth spreading" of free ice cream on election day.

Butternut said...

Too bad voting by mail doesn't give you a sticker, just a receipt. I could safety pin that to my shirt I guess. Or I could make my own stickers and wear two.

Voting in some countries is mandatory, like taxes. I like that idea. Also I think it should be mail-in only, like taxes. That gives us a paper trail and the lazy voters will stop rocking the vote and just vote.

Gobama.

Laura Swisher said...

Butternut, I contemplated doing an absentee ballot, but I feel more active if I physically stand in line. Plus it's nice to see who else lives near me. And, of course, I really want a sticker.

Laura Swisher said...

Thank you Geraldo. Beautiful pics on your site!

tankboy2902 said...

I'd like to thank Playboy for sending me the Election Night map where you click on a state and get a naked chick. Is there really anything else worth voting for? Supposedly women don't think like us so the opposite would not necessarily be worth their time. Is this true? Ladies please respond, what would your Election Night map have hidden beneath its graphic of Florida, or as it's more popularily known, America's wang?

Lizzie Dole is on tv reading her concession speech. I don't think North Carolina will miss her. Now she can go collect her four pensions along with her husband's three pensions (back in 1986 Bob Dole said people shouldn't be allowed to double dip, I guess quintuple dips don't count).

Laura Swisher said...

You are correct, Tankboy. I have been the recipient of naked photos from prison and have no doubt my gentlemen felons thought they were doing something that would appeal to me.

Butternut said...

"This post is from an inmate at Cook County Jail."

Well whatta ya know? The half white guy won.

Prop 8 is ahead right now, bad times. Only 30% reporting though. I hope this loses. I'm not gay or planning to get married but I like to keep my options open.

Butternut said...

California Prop 8.

Argh, 52% Yes with 65% reporting. Common wisdom is that this will get thrown out as unconstitutional (CA Constitution). Amendments need 2/3 votes to be approved, I believe.

tankboy2902 said...

Hey Laura! Yeah you, smeghead! Post some new shit already! It's Saturday, the election's been over for what, a month now? I got Obama jokes to make. Don't make me start my own blog. Cause then I gotta get a makeover, make myself hot, go on tv for a while, establish a fanbase, work with Martin Sargent, do award shows, and a bunch of other shit I ain't got time for just to make a goofy post. You're killing me here! All I got time for is to squat on your blog and complain. And my first complaint is you're cutting into my down time. I got puppies to look for!

By the way, is Bean hypoalagenetic or hypoantisemitic or whatever the hell these people are looking for? You and me, we can make some money here.