Sunday, January 09, 2005

You Reek of Cancer

The rains have kept me trapped in my apartment so instead of grabbing some stage time, I've been surfing various news sites trolling headlines. At least I was, until 60 Minutes came on with a fascinating story about how dogs have the ability to sniff cancer.

Apparently, their olfactory senses are so fine-tuned they can detect chemicals present in various cancers and, chances are, other diseases as well.

This is great news for medicine, bad news for me. Now every time my dog sniffs me, I have to wonder, "What is it, Bean? What are you trying to tell me?" When she barks, I'll no longer know if it's because she has to go to the bathroom, or because she's trying to tell me I've got melanoma. Fantastic.

I believe other studies on this phenomenon are on the way. A day may come when springer spaniels examine you instead of doctors. I actually envision a day when dogs are trained to sniff hundreds of diseases. And when that day comes, I'm going to start breeding dogs that can sniff out herpes. Imagine how secure you'd feel if everyone you dated met your dog before you went out with them? It would revolutionize dating.

All right. These are my random thoughts on a rainy Sunday evening.

39 comments:

DogsDontPurr said...

Now if only dogs could give us an acurate weather report....then we'd really have something!

DreamWarrior Mizu said...

Dogs that sniff out herpes... well, it wouldn't win you a spot on "Pet Star", but it'd be dead useful. It's a scary world out there. I didn't see that particular episode of 60 Minutes, though. It sounds like it was interesting.

rageous said...

Yeah, my dad just got over throat cancer. And before he was diagnosed (but while we were going from one doc to the next trying to pinpoint his problem), his dog started totally ignoring him and trying to suck up to me, like I was going to be the new master. It freaked me out and pissed me off, because even at that time I knew it was going to be a cancer diagnosis.

Anyway, Swish, fuck G4. Those clowns wouldn't know fun programming if it beat them over the head with xbox controllers.

And I've been told by a friend to pronounce my love for you, so here it is: I love you.

Troy said...

I saw some of that but I frist saw it on Unsolved Mysteries years ago.

hfgvcsx said...

Wow! That's an amazing thought process, Laura! But what I wonder is, if we eventually have DOG doctors who sniff us during a medical exam, how will we know when said doctor is "being inappropriate" with us? I may not sleep tonight.

Anyway, very funny material! I hope Robin Williams doesn't read this and steal it! :)

atomic_amish said...

Oh God! I think i may have crotch cancer!

Whats that Lassie? Timmy has a tumor?

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