I feel weird talking about the recent tragedy, in light of the fact that there are so many other people who are closer to it than I am. Who am I to comment on a horrible event that has touched so many lives around the globe? Can I approach the subject with the gravitas it deserves?
When I first heard that Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston had split, I thought it was some kind of joke. I mean, sure, Jennifer was spotted without her wedding ring a while back, but that could happen to anyone. Maybe she took it off to go swimming, or garden. And I couldn't believe that Brad would cheat on Jennifer with Angelina Jolie, or have phone sex with her! She just adopted a Cambodian boy.
Then Brad and Jennifer released a joint statement. They truly are separating. I am distraught. For me, this comes out of nowhere. WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY? Why did this happen?
I'm sorry. This is an emotional time for me. If Brad and Jennifer can't make it work, well, no couple can.
I am going to make a prediction: The break-up of Brad and Jennifer's marriage will be the death of irony.
You heard it here first.