Tuesday, February 08, 2005

*Hollywood AA Meetings

A friend of mine, Jen Garelick, has just started to deal with her alcoholism. Apparently, newly sober people should attend AA meetings at least once a day, or more, if necessary, to cope with the temptation of drink. Because I am an amazing friend, I attended one of these meetings with my dear friend Jen Garelick.

The day I went, I threw on a baggy pair of jeans and an Absolut Vodka fleece from my days as a flak. That proved to be a HUGE mistake. Turns out I should have dressed nicer. I didn't realize that when you attend an AA meeting in a conference room on the Universal Studios lot, the alcoholics are likely going to be well-heeled and really good-looking.

The only reason I agreed to go to the meeting in the first place--aside from being a supportive friend--was that I was in a crap mood and feeling sorry for myself. I thought it would cheer me up to be around people with shattered, hopeless lives and listen to their pathetic stories. In comparison, my life wouldn't seem so bad.

It didn't dawn on me that Hollywood would be a horrible place to attend an AA meeting. I hadn't counted on running into a bunch of celebrities: George Clooney, Kirsten Dunst, Robin Williams, Ben Affleck and Sarah Michelle Gellar.

See, when Ben Affleck hits rock bottom, he makes Gigli. And when Kirsten Dunst hits rock bottom, she gets to sleep with with Jake Gyllenhaal.

It's sooooo not fair. And it's not just the celebrities that are depressing. There are studio execs and agents as well. Despite their crippling addictions, they are still able to pull down six figures and drive obnoxious vehicles.

Instead of getting any kind of comfort out of this meeting, I get more depressed. And Jen, my little alcoholic, gets George Clooney to be her sponsor. And because I can control my liquor, I am not able to network like my pal.

I have now decided to become an alcoholic. Maybe I can finally make some money.





*I have changed the names of celebrities I saw with names of celebrities who weren't actually at the AA meeting, so if you're a lawyer who represents any of these fine thespians, please don't sue me.

27 comments:

Spider-Man said...

Okay...
The Swish picking up guys at an AA meeting? Just the thought of that is funny!

And I gotta know, what in the WORLD posessed you to wear an Absolut Vodka shirt to an AA meeting? You're ruthless! Hehehehehe, I love it!

Take care darlin!
Spider-Man
http://spiderman2004.blogspot.com

Mr. Bloggerific Himself said...

I must say I would be proud to leap into alcoholism in the name of all that is Swisherific. It’s been a whole year since I’ve had any alcohol, so I’m not sure how long it will take. Besides, I have to question your friend’s loyalty to you. She’s obviously trying too hard to get over her alcoholism… and how in the hell is that going to help YOU?? Uh huh, dump her! You deserve REAL, hardcore alcoholics as friends.

santana said...

Damn Laura, funny once again...the Vodka t-shirt was funnny I can imagine that and it has written funny as hell all over...its like something Seinfeld would do if George had a drinking problem lol, I can see it now:
George: Jerry I have a drinking problem.
Jerry: What problem?
George: JERRY!!! Serenity now serenity now.
Jerry: That's too bad. (Continues eating his cereal)

Laura you rock as a funny lady, someone should write a sitcom about you.

C. Glen Williams said...

The only thing that would have been more appropriate than the Absolut shirt would have been to carry in that ol' Grey Kangaroo thing with the affiliate order forms.

Turnkey Builder said...

Get unlimited webhosting at nt web hosting

Johnjon said...

Wow, I really like this one. I have a website that talks mostly about affiliate advertising You should check it out sometime.

Julie said...

I am going to set up a blog for my own site low cost web hosting tomorrow! I have a lot to of information to share. The link to read should be
live soon. If you have an interest in low cost web hosting I would love to hear what you think of my site :-)

Johnjon said...

Wow, I really like this one. I have a website that talks mostly about web hosting directory You should check it out sometime.

tipsonrelationships said...

I enjoyed reading your blog. There is a lot of useful information about seo services india in it. We offer Turnkey Websites and Reliable Hosting. We also provide a blogging service that will help your site get indexed fast and keep the search engines visiting your site. Click here for more information about seo services india.
Thank you
TWP Admin

Antonio Hicks said...

I was just browsing various blogs as I was doing a search on the word poster, and I just wanted to say that I really like what you've done with your blog, even though it wasn't particularly related to what I searched for. I appreciate your postings, and your blog is a good example of how a blog should be done. I've only just recently started a Posters website - feel free to visit it when you get a chance if you wish. Much success, antonio.

Antonio Hicks said...

I was just browsing various blogs as I was doing a search on the word poster, and I just wanted to say that I really like what you've done with your blog, even though it wasn't particularly related to what I searched for. I appreciate your postings, and your blog is a good example of how a blog should be done. I've only just recently started a Posters website - feel free to visit it when you get a chance if you wish. Much success, antonio.

clandis said...

Now this is funny ;)

officialloversguide said...

I enjoyed reading your blog. There is a lot of useful information about design hosting hosting prestonswebhosting.com web web web in it. We offer Turnkey Websites and Reliable Hosting. We also provide a blogging service that will help your site get indexed fast and keep the search engines visiting your site. Click here for more information about design hosting hosting prestonswebhosting.com web web web.
Thank you
TWP Admin

Dan said...

Do you need traffic? would you like to make money instead of lose money?check out this sitelocal advertising

Goodman441 said...

I would like to say this is a great blog about web master affiliate program. I think alot of you might be interested in my site too. Click the Link below to visit my site.
Click Here

Thanks!

Emerald Web Hosting said...

Hello,

Just thought I would check out your blog.
I am new to blogging. I hope you don't mind me posting to your blog. If you are interested in checking out my blog and making a post that would be great.

I have a comparison hosting web site/blog. It pretty much covers ##WEB HOSTING## related stuff.


Thanks,
Ed

Paul Adams said...

Hi Friend! You have a great blog over here!
Please accept my compliments and wishes for your happiness and success!
If you have a moment, please take a look at my site:
yahoo web hosting services
It covers yahoo web hosting services related subjects.
Have a great day!

Paul Adams said...

Hi Friend! You have a great blog over here!
Please accept my compliments and wishes for your happiness and success!
If you have a moment, please take a look at my site:
web site development hosting
It covers web site development hosting related subjects.
Have a great day!

James Baker said...

Congratulations Friend for your excellent blog on web services web hosting!Keep up the good work!
If you have a moment, please visit my site:
web services web hosting
I send you my warm regards and wish you continued success.
Have a nice day! :-)

Paul Adams said...

Hi Blogger! I like your blog! Keep up the
good work, you are providing a great resource on the Internet here!
If you have a moment, please take a look at my site:
Web Site Hosting
It pretty much covers Web Site Hosting related issues.
Best regards!

Advertising Center said...

Hi thanks for your blog, I liked it! I also have a blog/site about interactive advertising agency
that covers interactive advertising agency
related stuff. Please feel free to visit.

Renee said...

what part of alcoholics anonymous don't you understand? You might want to think about protecting the anonymity of people you see at AA meetings instead of advertising it to the world. Posting peoples identities is harmful. It can keep celebrities with drinking problems out of AA, cuz they don't want people like you busting their anonymity.

GLAD TO BE SOBER said...

I've seen it all over the years while attending meetings. As well, I have been so lucky over the years to see amazing things happen to amazing people. Check out the resources I offer at my site, and contact me there if you wish:

HTTP://WWW.GLADTOBESOBER.COM

REMEMBER:
"IF YOU DON'T TAKE THE FIRST DRINK, YOU CAN'T GET DRUNK"

My Best To You......
Michael-Shawn

LAPrince said...

WTF! The first rule in AA is you don't give last names and it is anonymous. We don't BS about it, we don't mention or play with its name, people, locations. If you want to survive here, I suggest you leave it alone.

Julian said...

viagra online

buy viagra

generic viagra

Poker Laptop TV said...

Your blog is very interesting to me.
--------------
Gratis Bono
free poker
Patrik Antonius is one of the most recognizable poker players in the world. His first major tournament success is the final table in 2005 at the European Poker Tour (EPT) in Barcelona, ??where he eventually finished third place. Later that same year was the first WPT event in Baden bei Wien (win € 343,366). A very successful 2005 years ended being careful to collection 2 place at the WPT Five Diamond World Poker Classic. Overall, in 2005-2008, Patrik won the tournament Live close to $ 3 million (including 12 WSOP cashes, seven time in hand WPT, EPT victory).
No Deposit for You.
Poker
More than poker success with Patrik Antonius is known cash game games at the highest bonus available rate (high stakes). For this reason, it has often been a guest programs such as High Stakes Poker and Poker Afer Dark. Following his poker skirmish in the programs viewers repeatedly witnessed unconventional plays, particularly interesting bluffs. It seems that a successful bluff come to him extremely easy, even for very large pools.
Free Bonus
Online Poker

Poker Laptop TV said...

Many thanks for this excelent blog post.
--------------
Holdem Poker
Internet Poker
Antonius became even more famous when in 2009 he became the first poker player to accept the "durrrr Challenge". The online high-stakes duel Tom Dwan put up $ 1.5 million, and Patrick Antonius $ 500,000. Under the agreement, the player who, after 50,000 hands heads-up will have a better score wins Puke $ 2,000,000. At the moment, both players played only 39,436 hands of the planned number of 50,000 - so the challenge remains unresolved, although Durrrr leads at the moment, being in the black $ 2,059,719.5.
Start Bonus
So let's get back to the biography, Patrik Anto-Nius. Born on 13 December 1980 in Helsinki. Even as a child interested in sports, dividing his time between workouts football, hockey and tennis bonus for poker. When he was 13 he decided to focus on the tennis dreaming of a career tennis. Even then became interested in poker, often spending long hours on games with his friends. Unfortunately tennis career plans thwarted Antonius back problems which resulted in more time spent at the poker table.
Laptop Sale
TV Promo
Free Online Poker playing now, Texas holdem no limit tours, no deposit free casino and poker omaha bonus
Candida Cure