A friend of mine, Jen Garelick, has just started to deal with her alcoholism. Apparently, newly sober people should attend AA meetings at least once a day, or more, if necessary, to cope with the temptation of drink. Because I am an amazing friend, I attended one of these meetings with my dear friend Jen Garelick.
The day I went, I threw on a baggy pair of jeans and an Absolut Vodka fleece from my days as a flak. That proved to be a HUGE mistake. Turns out I should have dressed nicer. I didn't realize that when you attend an AA meeting in a conference room on the Universal Studios lot, the alcoholics are likely going to be well-heeled and really good-looking.
The only reason I agreed to go to the meeting in the first place--aside from being a supportive friend--was that I was in a crap mood and feeling sorry for myself. I thought it would cheer me up to be around people with shattered, hopeless lives and listen to their pathetic stories. In comparison, my life wouldn't seem so bad.
It didn't dawn on me that Hollywood would be a horrible place to attend an AA meeting. I hadn't counted on running into a bunch of celebrities: George Clooney, Kirsten Dunst, Robin Williams, Ben Affleck and Sarah Michelle Gellar.
See, when Ben Affleck hits rock bottom, he makes Gigli. And when Kirsten Dunst hits rock bottom, she gets to sleep with with Jake Gyllenhaal.
It's sooooo not fair. And it's not just the celebrities that are depressing. There are studio execs and agents as well. Despite their crippling addictions, they are still able to pull down six figures and drive obnoxious vehicles.
Instead of getting any kind of comfort out of this meeting, I get more depressed. And Jen, my little alcoholic, gets George Clooney to be her sponsor. And because I can control my liquor, I am not able to network like my pal.
I have now decided to become an alcoholic. Maybe I can finally make some money.
*I have changed the names of celebrities I saw with names of celebrities who weren't actually at the AA meeting, so if you're a lawyer who represents any of these fine thespians, please don't sue me.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
6 comments:
Okay...
The Swish picking up guys at an AA meeting? Just the thought of that is funny!
And I gotta know, what in the WORLD posessed you to wear an Absolut Vodka shirt to an AA meeting? You're ruthless! Hehehehehe, I love it!
Take care darlin!
Spider-Man
http://spiderman2004.blogspot.com
I must say I would be proud to leap into alcoholism in the name of all that is Swisherific. It’s been a whole year since I’ve had any alcohol, so I’m not sure how long it will take. Besides, I have to question your friend’s loyalty to you. She’s obviously trying too hard to get over her alcoholism… and how in the hell is that going to help YOU?? Uh huh, dump her! You deserve REAL, hardcore alcoholics as friends.
The only thing that would have been more appropriate than the Absolut shirt would have been to carry in that ol' Grey Kangaroo thing with the affiliate order forms.
what part of alcoholics anonymous don't you understand? You might want to think about protecting the anonymity of people you see at AA meetings instead of advertising it to the world. Posting peoples identities is harmful. It can keep celebrities with drinking problems out of AA, cuz they don't want people like you busting their anonymity.
I've seen it all over the years while attending meetings. As well, I have been so lucky over the years to see amazing things happen to amazing people. Check out the resources I offer at my site, and contact me there if you wish:
HTTP://WWW.GLADTOBESOBER.COM
REMEMBER:
"IF YOU DON'T TAKE THE FIRST DRINK, YOU CAN'T GET DRUNK"
My Best To You......
Michael-Shawn
WTF! The first rule in AA is you don't give last names and it is anonymous. We don't BS about it, we don't mention or play with its name, people, locations. If you want to survive here, I suggest you leave it alone.
Post a Comment