It was a dark and dreary time for us all, even if we weren't aware we were missing out on an exciting universe that existed in glowing box and that would eventually cut down on the amount of time we spent actually dealing with other people.
I invite you to share how miserable life was before such a thing as Internet came around. Know that if you share something, I may use/steal your idea.
For example, before Internet, people had to purchase music. Before the Internet, you had to show up to a date to see what the other person looked like (i.e. no posting pics online).
Anyway, you folks get the idea.
I'm now gonna eat some dinner. It will probably be something from Trader Joe's. Thought you should know that.
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4 comments:
I think the internet was invented because the "@" sign above the two needed a purpose. It was the lonely punctuation mark.
Before the internet you had to have cable to watch cheap shows and crappy videos.
Before the internet "domain names" were double entendres.
Before the convenience of the internet people dialed seven numbers to order Papa John's now they boot up their computer, login to windows and they type "http://www.papajohnsonline.com/index.html.
Before the internet spyware was the fashion worn by the good guys in James Bond films.
Before the internet bookstores didn't have to serve coffee just to lure customers away from Amazon.com.
Before the internet people used "phonebooks" to find celebrity numbers.
Pirate games were based on Peter Pan before the internet.
Before E-bay you had to go to insurance salvage stores and flea markets to buy crap you don't need.
Before the internet it was rude to use the phone (lines)to share your opinions and bad jokes with strangers.
Before the Internet I wasn't able to discuss “before the Internet times” because it was before the Internet was available to me to know what it was like after the Internet was available.
Before the Internet, someone got paid to type in my catalogue purchase. But now I enter in all my own “bill to, ship to and credit card” information, and I don’t even get a discount. Whaaaaa!
(Also, I didn't get to say "Mornin'" to THE SWISH!)
Before I answer, I just want to know if your using us for material because you've gotten to good to do your own material, so your gonna be a cheapskate and use comments here instead? Fine, I hereby give my soul and all worldly possessions to Laura "Cheapskate" Swisher. And I being of sound mind blah, blah, blah.
Life before the Internet was glorious.
I use to watch 10 hours of TV a day instead of now five hours.
It was nice being able to goto bed at a reasonable hour, but now I cannot end the IM conversation until like 3 in the morning.
I used to physically stalk celebrities, but now I just hack into their T-Mobile phones (Kinky pictures you got there Mr. Swisher)
I used to be able to withstand the radiation from the sun for at least an hour. But now I write Vampire whenever it asks for Race on my applications.
I used to be considered a dork and a nerd before the Internet but now I'm hip and a trend setter.
Steak and potatoes have been replaced with Ramen and microwaved meals.
And sadly while I am gaming, instead of going to the toilet to pee, I think that my Mountain Dew bottle would make a perfect urinal.
All rights reserved. All wrongs avenged.
Before the internet nerds and geeks had no place to consolidate their power. They were left in rag tag science clubs which were easily targeted by those higher on the ass-kicking food chain. Now they can send clandestine messages back and forth and explode onto the scene en mass at Star Trek Conventions and the like. Instead of sitting at home creating new dungeons their fingers now move rapidly as they plan their inevitable takeover. Where do you think metrosexuals came from? They are whitling down their opposition. Beware.
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