Thursday, March 17, 2005

Yet Another Questionnaire

A friend of mine sent me this questionnaire this morning. I decided to post my answers because my answers are fascinating and really deep.

1. What time did you wake up this morning? 9 am

2. Diamonds or pearls? diamonds

3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? Hooligans at SXSW

4. What is your favorite TV show? Arrested Development

5. What did you have for breakfast? hash browns & zucchini, onion, tomoato, green pepper, roquefort cheese, irish cheddar cheese scramble


6. Peach yogurt or granola? Granola

7. What is your favorite cuisine? Depends on the day, recently, Cuban food

8. What foods do you dislike? Halva, that marbled block of evil

9. What is your favorite crisp flavour? I'm guessing a crisp is a cracker. I like stone cracked wheat

10. What is your favourite CD at the moment? The Killers and maybe Bright Eyes (just downloaded a ton of stuff, illegally)

11. What kind of car do you drive? Jetta

12. Favourite sandwich? Something warm with a good cheese on it

13. What characteristics do you despise? Arrogance, Really bad humor

14. Favourite items of clothing? Jackets, shoes (need more)

15. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go? South America perhaps

16. What colour is your bathroom? Red

17. Favourite brand of clothing? Seven jeans

18. Where would you retire to? Somewhere friendly where a Romance language was spoken. Coast of Spain, France, Italy, Mexico, Chile or all five countries.

19. Favourite time of the day? 8pm-ish

20. What was your most memorable birthday? My last one. Spent $1200 out of my own pocket for an overpriced dinner. Never allow alcohol to be added to bill.

21. Where were you born? St. Louis, MO

22. Favourite sport to watch? Basketball. Go Cats!

23. Who do you least expect to send this back to you? Debra Messing...she's really busy with work.

24. What book are you reading now? An acting book (Ivana Chubback's new one), but am waiting for Blink to arrive in the mail.

25. What fabric detergent do you use? Wisk

26. Coke or Pepsi? Dr. Pepper

27. Are you a morning person or a night owl? It changes depending on how much stand-up I'm doing. At this moment in time, Morning

28. What is your shoe size? 8 1/2.

29. Do you have any pets? Bean, the cutest dog ever.

30. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share with your friends? I'm pregnant!
until tomorrow, anyway.

31. What did you want to be when you were little? A writer for SNL.

32. What are you doing today? Taking Bean to the vet, preparing for audition tomorrow, playing Bejewled.

9 comments:

Gomp Diggaty said...

I hate those questionnaires
they are the most annoying form of spam EVER!

Spider-Man said...

Ya know something? These quesionaires remind me of the old Slam-Books that used to go around highschool. They were real popular with the chicks.

Being the geek that I was, I never got invited to play the game. Oh well. I still don't as I've never gotten one of these questionaires!

Spidey Out-
http://spiderman2004.blogspot.com

MastaShaq said...

my friend sent me that exact same one about a month ago

Mr. Bloggerific Himself said...

Before the Internet, I had one less thing that frustrated the crap out my shitty daily experiences.

What? We’re done with that one now?

Shit. See what I mean?

Mr. Bloggerific Himself said...

Because of your answer to number 13, you might want to avoid visiting Kentucky within the next, say, century or so. Unless of course you're coming to visit me and I can shield you from the pain.

RedLobo said...

An indepth analyzation of Laura Swisher from "Yet Another Questionaire " Posted on March 17, 2005 by famed doctor and scholar Redlobo.

1. Since Laura wakes up at 9 am, quite later then 90 percent of decent hard-working Americans I would say she suffers from Sleep deprivation. According to Dr. Kavorigain, symptoms of sleep deprivation in adults include:
* Constant yawning
* The tendency to doze off when not active for a while; for example, when watching television
* Grogginess when waking in the morning
* Sleepy grogginess experienced all day long (sleep inertia)
* Poor concentration and mood changes (more irritable)

2. By picking diamonds over pearls, it is my opinion that she is also a moneygrubbing woman. According to Freesearch.com "Someone or something that is money-grubbing has money as their main interest and does anything they can to get lots of it." Diamonds are a money-grubbers best friend. Bling Bling = Ching Ching. (sound of a register)

3. The plot line for Hooligans from IMDB is "A recently expelled Harvard student travels to London and is introduced to the passion and excitement of the English soccer culture." Obviously, Mr. Swisher enjoys movies that have a poor Anti-hero, that will never become famous because he is kicked out of school.

4. One of the first petition signers at Petitionspot.com for the cancelation of Fox's Arrested Development is quoted as writing, "Arrested Development Sucks!" Thus, Laura Swisher likes shows that suck which scarely parallels her own cancelled show, "I Just Love to Fart."

5. Her eating habits appear to be well-balanced and nutritional; however, that is a home remedy to purge ones system of crack, cocaine, and herion. Instead of Rice Krispies, it's smack, crack, and pop.

6. By admiting to eating Granola, she is of course a hippie, or as Thersarous.com calls her a beat, Bohemian, demonstrator, dropout, flower child, iconoclast, maverick, non-conformist, peacenik, protestor, and radical. Basically she is a Communist.

7. Her political orientation is confirmed when she blantly admits she likes Cuban food.

8. Foodreference.com states that Halva is a confection from the meditranaon and the name means literally 'sweetmeat.' She obviously is a pagan worshipper because of her dislike of "sweet" things. That includes beautiful children, flowers, and world peace.

9. By reading between the lines in this answer she tells us again, "I like...crack..." or even "I...stone...r." She even wants to be white, "I'm...a...cracker."

10. She flauts her distaste for soceities laws by admittly being a criminal because she "just downloaded a ton of stuff, illegally!" Shocking!

11. A 2005 Jetta retails for about $25,660 fully equiped, which is impossilbe for her to own just being a comedian. She obviously sells drugs to help support her car and shoe fetish. As well as her own crack habit.

12. Because she spends most of her money on her car, shoes, and crack she can only feed herself either tang sandwiches or CheeseWiz ones.

13. She can be a spiteful woman because she is intimadited by my supurb humor, and witty mind.

14. Her money problems not only affect her food, but her clothing as well. She apparently wheres only Jackets and shoes which the apperal choice for hookers. "Need more" could be a reference she needs more crack, money or Jon's by pimping herself out to others on the street.

15. Strangly, she does not want to goto South America for the drugs, but rather for the coffee. Maybe her crack addiction is being substutied by her Starbucks addiction?

16. She painted her bathroom red because subconciously she believes she is the Anti-christ. Satan's son if you will.

17. According to Designs by Stephene Seven Jeans "are hand distressed." She obviously gets them from hobos off the street again verifiying her lack of money and style.

18. She is obviously uneducated because Romanian is also a romantic languague. I am fluent in all the Romance languages including German.

I could go on to analyze the rest of her answers, but they would just continue to support my position whole-heartly. If you would like me to analyze you personally please send payment to jnhager@yahoo.com via Paypal. Thanks for your support.

Joe Siegler said...

I normally don't like responding to these questionnaires, but the planets must be aligned properly, as I filled out this one. :)

http://joe.siegler.net/archives/000215.html

c_neil said...

how does a St. Louis girl get started in comedy? I would be interested in hearing how you got your start and made your connections.

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