Thursday, April 21, 2005

All I Want for Christmas is a Taser and a Snake

This will be a quick post. I just read the cutest little article. Apparently soldiers emailed top military brass a "wish list" of "detainee tactics". Some might say "detainee tactics" were just a euphemism for torture, but we know the military categorically opposes torture because politicians and military leaders have told us so. Sure, some detainees died, but in the larger sceheme of things, many were just maimed and severely traumatized for life.

Here's a partial wish list:

--Use snakes on detainees
--Stuff 'em into sleeping bags
--Beat 'em with batons (PLEASE!!!)
--Open-hand strikes
--Closed-fist strikes
--Claustrophobic techniques
--Striking with phone books (preferably from a large city, New York, perhaps)
--Low-voltage electrocution
--Inducing muscle fatigue
--Dress up as Santa Claus and say "Merry Christmas", then pantomime like you're looking at your naughty and nice list and then go, "Sorry, you were a bad boy this year," and then leave. DON'T GIVE THEM A GIFT! Ha. That's a good one.
--Draw things on them
--Make them watch Dirty Dancing II: Havana Nights and have male detainees reenact the dance numbers with one another while we watch and drink beer
--Make them have sex with me. you know, to humiliate them. they'd hate that.

If I didn't have to run the list would be longer. Feel free to add on.

16 comments:

DogsDontPurr said...

Make them go without cable and high speed internet?

DogsDontPurr said...

Opps....I meant to add, "That would REALLY be torture!"

northside777 said...

I get how you are trying to be funny with the whole torture topic. I think that some of your suggestions were hilliarious. But I think that we cannot also forget the way are terrorist foe in this war has treated the people that it takes as prisoners. People like Daniel Pearl, Nick Berg, Kim Song-Il, Paul Johnson, Eugene Armstrong, Raja Azad, and Sajjad Naeem. That is not to forget all the other nameless civilians that have been killed in Iraq, Afghanistan, Spain, Holland,Russia and even are own country.

RedLobo said...

Give them jobs at McDonalds.

velveeta said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
velveeta said...

Bad timing on this subject since just yesterday a civilian helicopter was shot down by Iraqi terrorists and then released a video of the terrorists shoting a unarmed and severly injured survivor.

Pure Gr8ness said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Pure Gr8ness said...

I just saw u on an episode of Living with Fran

Laura Swisher said...

Here's the thing about torture: Civilized societies shouldn't engage in it, especially if they presume to beacons of democracy, which the US does. So while it's repugnant that terrorists commit atrocities, we can't use their awful acts to justify the torture of prisonors in our control. And redefining the word torture doesn't count. We shouldn't sink so low. That's my point.

northside777 said...

My point was that you see the people who carried out the "torture" being punished. Were is the outcry for the beheadings and the other horrible acts. Panties on the head is hardly beheading.

Laura Swisher said...

My point is that torture is torture, period. No one is equating panties on the head with beheadings. The only thing stupider than putting panties on a prisoner's head, is taking pictures of it that will inevitably leak out to the public. Prisoners have died in our custody who were beaten to death, tortured to death. To say, "They did it too!" as a defense is unacceptable. And there should be more outcry about our soldiers dying, especially when they're put in the field without adequate armor or protection. That, too, is awful.

Butternut said...

I'm sure some guys' pay extra for the panties on the head thing.

Our treatment of POW's has made me sick.

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