Friday, April 22, 2005

I'll Be On "Living With Fran"

um, two hours ago. Oops. So much for advance warning.

I've also been sighted recently on The Fine Living channel on the show "The Great Adventure", where a crew follows me and another woman around the jungles, valleys and mountains of Peru. There's a nice shot of me attempting a graceful backward's dive off a rope swing into piranha-infested water. When I first watched the show, I realized I didn't look that graceful. Also, I entered the water at a weird angle and nearly snapped by back in half. It was a little painful.

Next week keep your eyes peeled for a commercial I'm in. It's supposed to start airing soon. I want them to air it so much people get sick of me.

Quick thought about Wendy's. The commercial I'm in is for a new salad at Wendy's (or maybe it's not new--dunno). After I shot it, the news about a finger in a bowl of chile came out. I got a little scared. If that fingertip ruined any chance at getting residuals, I was gonna...well, probably go broke. But here's the thing about food scares at major eateries.

When you learn that a body part has been found in a restaurant's menu item, the smart thing to do is not AVOID said restaurant for fear of body parts popping up in your food, but to FREQUENT said restaurant and order the particular menu item yourself. You can be certain that management is going to check, doublecheck and triplecheck their chile. They might run it through a sieve before any order is served. In short, they will be hypervigilant in the face of a public relations disastor.

Meanwhile, other restaurants will have grown complacement. It's more likely a finger will turn up at another restaurant, one at which the staff isn't actively looking for body parts in the food. And if you're not actively looking for body parts in food, guess what might end up in the food? That's right. Body parts.

When the scandal hit, I immediately ran to the nearest Wendy's (La Brea and Sunset) and ordered two bowls of chile. They were good. I found one hair, but I guess that's normal. I certainly couldn't sue over it. Could I? Shoot. I hope I didn't miss an opportunity to sue. Oh well.

I have to go to bed now.

33 comments:

Mr. Bloggerific Himself said...

Great. She's gettin' more and more Fay Moose as time goes by and soon will have a team of writers "doing the blog" (which sounds naughty, and I like that) for her and we'll not get to speak to the real Swish.

Yeah, LS, ya need to just go work at Wendy's.

RedLobo said...

Your so right Mr. Bloggerific. Now that the Swish is becoming more and more successful, she well abandon us. She will hire a PR firm to create a pretty little new website with all sorts of adorable kittens and puppies and kids doing cool skater moves, so it appears that she is cute and hip at the sametime. Some lackey from the PR firm will then start posting blogs in her name which are nothing but press releases for her comedy tour and the new tv sitcom, "8 White Woman, and a Stereotypical Black One ." We will get to sign up for her newsletter which will basically be a form letter sent to thousands of little teenage girls and creepy 18-34 male perverts. But yet we hardcore "8" fans will still think that everytime we read the posts that she is addressing us personally.

On a personal note, I would love to be the lackey at that PR Firm.

Aaron said...

Great. Swish commercials. But if you ask me, that pic of you washing your pet in the tub would be more memorable. Perhaps Wendy's could incoporate that somehow. Probably not a good idea while advertising a salad though. Nevermind.

Mr. Bloggerific Himself said...

I just like saying the word "lackey."

lackey.

there, I'm done

Steve Guzman said...

Swish! Great job on the commercial. You know how to ham it up, eh? Us geeks miss getting our late night eyefull of the Swish! ;)

much luv,
steve

Tony said...

Yo Laura! I just saw the Wendy's commercial and thought is was...well...ehhhhhhh. Just kidding! It was great. After a few seconds, all the "ehhhhh"s got a little irritating, but I will not hold it against you. After seeing the commercial a few more times, it will probobly grow on me. I, too, miss seeing you on Unscrewed. At least I got a few thousand screen grabs from the show to keep me company. Bwhahahahahahaha!

Take care.
*SMOOCH*

Butternut said...

I'm SO sick of that commercial now. :)

First time I saw it I pointed at the screen and shouted "The Swish!". My sister gave me a strange look. The dog didn't seem to mind. Pet's are so understanding. I IM'ed a friend of mine immediately to announce the Swish sighting.

They've been playing the poo out of it during the NBA Playoffs on ABC, TNT, and ESPN. Makes me want to get a Wendy's salad. That one guy looks like Pee-Wee Herman.

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