Saturday, April 23, 2005

Happy Endings

I had lunch with a bunch of ladies yesterday and our conversation veered into "Sex in the City" territory. Word on the street is that one of the more well-known spas in this city has gained a certain reputation with certain ladies because, in addition to their massage, they get a little something extra. Until yesterday, I'd never heard of that. Let me back up. I'd definitely heard about it, but had no idea women did it, or at least the kind of women who would frequent name-brand spas. It's not that those women are necessarily "classier" than your generic spa-goer, but that a spa with a huge reputation would risk getting shut down if word ever got out.

I've actually been to the spa on a number of occassions. Aside from getting scrubbed with salt and kneaded, nothing else happened. My friend went after learning of the place's reputation. She got a massage but couldn't fully enjoy it for fear of giving off whatever signal one gives off when they want a little extra. We wondered what the signal would be. An arrow drawn on your inner thigh pointing upward? Or is it a little less subtle? They do ask you at the beginning of a session if anything hurts or if you need extra work in a particular area. When I got my Thai massage a couple weeks ago I hate a sore neck. Maybe you say something like, "My loins are killing me. Can you help alleviate my loin ache? They're burning."

Maybe there's a secret handshake. Are all the men at this particular place in on it or just one or two? Are the women in on it? How deep does this scandal run?

Is there anyone in Los Angeles that knows what I'm talking about? If so, please share the details with me because I'm fascinated.

--mental, though public, note to write about Paxil side effects. That's for another entry.

Must go walk my dog now.

18 comments:

DogsDontPurr said...

I once went to a Korean "Theraputic Massage" place up in the Bay Area. They had a sign out offering a $39 massage, so I went (it looked like a legit place). Well, it didn't take me long to realize that "theraputic massage" had a different connotation....as I was the ONLY woman who was there for a massage. It was an interesting experience hearing the men in the other rooms, as I lay naked on the massage table.
When my masseuse came into the room, she gave me the most painful massage imaginable (don't worry, nothing sexual occurred).....I think it was her way of telling me that I didn't belong there.

All the massage ladies giggled as I left. Oy.

An interesting experience though!

RedLobo said...

Paxil Side Effects:
Paxil side effects can affect a patient physically, psychologically, and emotionally. The possible Paxil side effects include, but are not limited to, drowsiness, asthenia (lack of physical strength), tremors, nervousness, dizziness, insomnia, profuse sweating, ejaculatory delay, and weight loss. The more frequent Paxil side effects tend to also seem to be among the least severe. Among the rarer Paxil side effects are traumatic bone fractures, akinesia (temporary and painful muscle paralysis), mania, and paranoia.

SEE I WOULD MAKE A GREAT LACKEY! I can use Google.

Mr. Bloggerific Himself said...

Good, Lobo's got the google, Laura, I got your back...and uh, anything else ya got.

Aaron said...

Paxil? I thought one of the side effects was gas with oil discharge. That would be a nice effect while asking for a happy ending at that spa.

Manny F said...

Gas with oil? Is that not the same side effect for a certain type of steroid. Because secretion of oil is one of the steroid side effects.

Laura Swisher said...

maybe a new generation of cars can run off the oily discharge byproducts of of the latest trendy medications.

Manny F said...

Out of gas? Pull over, drop your pants, and rub you oily ass on the hood of the car. That outta get ya another 25 miles.....

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Laura,

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