Sunday, April 10, 2005

Potentially Awkward Celebrity Encounter

Many years ago, when I worked for a PR firm, I found myself alone in an elevator with a comic the firm represented. I never like to talk to celebs unless I have something specific to say, having been burned once by Robert Townsend in Santa Barbara (not literally). So I'm in an elevator with Caroline Rhea in the building where I worked. She was leaving, as was I.

It turns out that I did, in fact, have something specific and kind of interesting to share with her. Her father, Dr. Rhea, lives in Tucson where he practices medicine. My mother, Dr. Swisher (does NOT practice medicine), was one of his patients. She went in to see him one fine day for a regular check-up and the two were chatting and somehow it came up that I was a comedian in Los Angeles. Of course Dr. Rhea then told my mom that his daughter was a comedian in LA as well. Of course he won that round because his daughter was famous and my mother's daughter was, well, one of thousands of people living in LA that fancied themselves comics but had day jobs as well.

So I'm in the elevator with Caroline and I don't say anything to her. Here's why: Her father is a gynecologist. I had envisioned in my head how the conversation might go down. Caroline, a celebrity, sharing an elevator with a total stranger who says, "My mom is a patient of your dad's. Isn't that neat? What are the odds?" Implicitly, what I'm saying is, "Hey, your dad's totally seen my mom's snatch! Going to the lobby?" There's really no place a conversation can go after that.

I also imagined that if I were in her position, such an awkward encounter might convince me it was time to switch publicists. Then I'd be known as the employee who thought it would be a good idea to bring up the subject of vagina with important clients.

So I didn't say anything and Caroline was none the wiser. Until last night. We were in the same show. I went up second in the line-up so Ms. Rhea hadn't arrived yet. But I did share the story with her at the end of the night. She seemed to find it amusing, but we have no plans to share an elevator together anytime soon.

Now I'm guessing my mother will be the one uncomfortable that I shared this story. For the record, Dr. Rhea no longer privy to her privates. They're in different states.

Wow. Now I'm comfortable.


Sidecar said...

No, I'm uncomfortable.

Donald said...

If it makes you feel any better (and why wouldn't it?), Caroline Rhea is no longer famous. You may even slightly edge her out because you have some sort of cult status.

RedLobo said...

I think you need a new catagory for your posts labelled TMI (Too Much Information). Sometimes not posting at all is preferred to reading your insanely creepy posts. I am also uncomfortable, and I feel dirty as well. I think I need a couple of showers to wash off the memories of this one. Just like that time you posted a picture of you half naked washing your dog.


Mr. Bloggerific Himself said...

I wanna be part of the cult! Can I get one of those purple wrap thingies!! Woo hoo!

Pall Mall said...

I am not uncomfortable. That was a great story.

Judy said...

Great story!

robelanator said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
SwanShadow said...

The only thing that could have made that story more hilarious is if you yourself had been Dr. Rhea's patient.

"Hi, I'm Laura...delightful to meet you...I've been naked from the waist down six inches from your father's nose."

Now there's a conversation with no place to go.

Mr. Bloggerific Himself said...

Unless of course, SS, she came back with, "Oh my gawd! So have I! Don't you love a man with a big nose?! Come, let's have coffee."

Jim-Bob said...

Wait, your Mom's privates are in different states? Now there's a woman that gets around! *Ba Dum Chee*

...Yeah, still working on that one.

Estevan Carlos said...

Swisher's Mom's 'gina. This is the first post I've read during my online search for Laura Swisher information.

Not quite what I was looking for.

Hello Laura, I missed the Laura Dates a Dork Contest.

I'm sorry.

Estevan Carlos said...

I noticed B66 is one of your favorite films. Do you ever see Vincent around there? Have you seen his, "Brown Bunny"?

Laura Swisher said...

estevan, i've seen brown bunny and VG around here. actually, VG spoke before the screening of brown bunny that i went to. i've also run into him hiking. he did not say hello to me.

Daily Texican said...

ditto. not uncomfortable!

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