Religious Fundamentalists Are Boring

I'd prefer Religious Mentalists instead. If someone's telling me I'm going to go to hell for my beliefs, It would be cool if they could bend a fork at the same time. Ask yourselves this: If a Jehova's Witness asked you to think of a certain animal, then pulled a wallet out of his pants, opened the wallet and pulled out a folded, stapled piece of paper that opened up to reveal a sketch of the animal you were thinking of, wouldn't you invite him into your home? I think I would too. But not before I called a bunch of my friends. "Guess what? There's a Jehova's Witness at my house! You gotta come over!"

I would have so much more respect for Religious Mentalists than Religious Fundamentalists. Even the really scary ones like Eric Rudolph who was finally convicted for the Atlanta bombing during the Summer Olympics, as well as bombing a women's clinic that provided abortions. He's nothing more than terrorist. But if he had bombed a women's health clinic with his mind, I might truly start to wonder if it were, indeed, God's will. But he used hum drum, though fatal, explosive devices. How quaint and unimpressive.

Here's something that baffles me. How is it that people can take the Bible literally?. The story of Noah's Ark should raise a red flag. Sure, it's cute to think of zebras, elephants and giraffes walking in pairs onto the Lido deck, but it quickly starts to get complicated. What of the worms that have both the male and female sex. Are there two of them? How 'bout the organisms we can't see with the naked eye, do they come on board as well? Even the ugly animals? I mean, it's two of EVERYTHING. Did they have a huge aquarium in the boat for aquatic life? No, that would probably be stupid. Aquatic life could survive the storm. How 'bout AIDS? Did that come on board as well? Was AIDS told to relax a couple thousand years? Hang out playing shuffleboard until the '80s? "You, too, Ebola. Relax. In fact, you might want to work out in the gym for a millenia so you can be strong. Come out with a bang."

But thinking about these things closely is inconvenient. If there's any doubt that facts get in the way of faith, you need only visit the creation science fair project online (see link from above paragraph). Here's are two Creation "Science" Fair Winners:

1st Place: "Life Doesn't Come From Non-Life"

Patricia Lewis (grade 8) did an experiment to see if life can evolve from non-life. Patricia placed all the non-living ingredients of life - carbon (a charcoal briquet), purified water, and assorted minerals (a multi-vitamin) - into a sealed glass jar. The jar was left undisturbed, being exposed only to sunlight, for three weeks. (Patricia also prayed to God not to do anything miraculous during the course of the experiment, so as not to disqualify the findings.) No life evolved. This shows that life cannot come from non-life through natural processes.
2nd Place: "Women Were Designed For Homemaking"

Jonathan Goode (grade 7) applied findings from many fields of science to support his conclusion that God designed women for homemaking: physics shows that women have a lower center of gravity than men, making them more suited to carrying groceries and laundry baskets; biology shows that women were designed to carry un-born babies in their wombs and to feed born babies milk, making them the natural choice for child rearing; social sciences show that the wages for women workers are lower than for normal workers, meaning that they are unable to work as well and thus earn equal pay; and exegetics shows that God created Eve as a companion for Adam, not as a co-worker.

Charming.

I now have to get off my lil' soapbox and meet a friend for coffee.