Sunday, August 21, 2005

Great Celebrity Reads

50 CENT
Just finished 50 Cent's new autobiography "An Analysis of Economic Decline and Gentrification in Urban Strongholds Between 1982 and 2001." It really gives you insight into what it's like to be a thug, especially in an era marred by HUD scandals.

JENNY McCARTHY
Another terrific page turner is Jenny McCarthy's tome "Bioethical Challenges Facing Neonatologists: Ruminations of a Former Playboy Playmate." There is an entire chapter on multiple versus single lumen umbilical venous catheters for newborn infants that is HILARIOUS! Not only did I laugh, but I cried as well. If you're the type that weeps easily, avoid her chapter on Encephalitis. Sooooooooooo sad :(

LEEZA GIBBONS
You may recognize Leeza from her 20-odd years hosting Entertainment Tonight and her dramatic reality series on the Lifetime Network, but did you know she's also a world-renowned herpetologist? I didn't either. She has a new book out called "My Summer with Sammy," which chronicles her adventures living among the salamanders of Vancouver, Canada. The salamander named Sammy (whom the book is named after) is a real hoot.

JENNA JAMESON
She's like the Oprah of porn and has a wonderful book of advice for those of us non-porn stars. Entitled, "How to Be Fiscally Responsible Like a Porn Star," Jenna delves into the sexy world of book keeping, and offers advice on balancing one's checkbook and the economic considerations of double penetration. I read this in one sitting.

Happy reading!

3 comments:

Butternut said...

Too... many... big... words. Must watch Top Gun to ... ack!

Jenna is more of a porn empire than a star now. Apparently anything with her name on it sells like bananas, especially bananas. I wonder if she would endorse a vacuum cleaner, or chrome trailer hitches, or laundry stain remover.

Why the hell does vacuum need two u's?? Ewe doesn't have any! Vacum should loan one to Ewue. Or does that make it like Eeeeew? Or Va-Cum... hmm I guess that's another reason for Jenna to endorse it.

Hiiiighwaaay to the danger zone!

Anonymous said...

Why are you not a sitcom writer? Talk to your agent. You're hilarious!

P.S. You haven't mentioned a word about Martin Sargent's new blog(the real one).

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