Is it bad to put Philanthropist on one's resume? Last night I was incredibly selfless and went to a benefit for FINCA, an organization that helps poor families from around the world start their own businesses (or something like that). The important thing to know is that I put down thirty bucks to help this organization out. Never mind that my friend Ethan, who hosted the event, provided free sangria and a bounty of appetizers to nibble on. I was there not for the party, but for the people.
Obviously, this is just the kind of selfless act that God notices and tries to reward. I'm sure most people get a pat on the back in the afterlife, or an offhanded comment from God like, "Hey, what you did back there with the poor...that was cool." I got my high five from God right away, in the form of a raffle prize. God was all, "Laura, you're amazing. Know what? I'm gonna make sure you win a free foot reflexology session worth $85 dollars." And then He made it happen.
So I feel pretty good about myself today. I helped the poor. More importantly, I'll get a free massage.
So if any of you all are, like me, good and decent people, you should help out this organization.
P.S. I ALSO performed at said benefit, and gave the gift of laughter. I am so wonderful!