Friday, August 26, 2005

Jesus' Dandruff

For Evangelicals who want to convert people to their way of thinking, here's an idea: Jesus' dandruff...to be snorted.

I didn't come up with this on my own. In Pennsylvania a church custodian was arrested for making methamphetamine where he worked. He's been arrested.

But it occurred to me that if you can offer the blood of Christ and the body of Christ to one's parish, why not Christ's dandruff as well? Offer a tiny little toot of meth. Of course, to receive the dandruff of Christ one would have to arrive on time and sit through the entire service. Dandruff would only be offered at the end of the sermon to ensure everybody heard the Good News. There would be no sniffing and running.

I guarantee you attendance would skyrocket. Tweakers would probably go to church every single day.

I think the plan's a winner.

And now I've got to go get ready for my day (or possibly to hell).

6 comments:

Aaron said...

well...you can't offer it on the technicality that Jesus himself didn't offer the metaphorical sniffing item during the last supper..at least according to my records.

The 40 Year Old Virgin. I'm wondering if this is based on that old ass internet site called "Adventures of a 45 year old virgin" . I am not making this up. Don't be surprised if you hear of a lawsuit soon.

Butternut said...

The addiction would be called Jesus jones. :)

You'd see churches popping up in the middle of Nowhere, USA like Fresno and Lodi. Fastest sermons in the west.

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