Thursday, August 25, 2005

When Being Lied to Is Deadly...

(metaphorically speaking)

You want to trust the people in charge. When they say something is true--because they have proof--and hundreds of thousands of people leave their families based on such a claim, and then we learn we've been lied to...well, it's unconcsionable and sets a dangerous precedent.

A horrible lie was perpetrated on the American people and, I'm ashamed to admit, I fell for it. I went out and saw "A Knight's Tale" because I'd read that Heath Ledger was, "This year's hottest star." Then I rushed out to see Rob Schneider's "The Animal," for it was described as "Another winner". It wasn't. It was a loser. The supposed critic who made these claims was a fake. A fraud.

Who would do something like this, betray the American public in such an egregious fashion? Naturally, I suspected Al Qaeda, or possibly Saddam Hussein. Who else would try and pull off such nefariosity? The Japanese, it turns out. No matter how many times we apologize (have we apologized?) about the the Bomb, they just can't seem to get over it. So now, decades after those two infamous (to them) days, they foist fake movie critic David Manning on us, via their government's propaganda arm. And the mainstream media let them get away with it.

You might think this is about the $32 bucks I shelled out (paid for friends) in going to see this crap flicks. Wrong. This is about integrity. This is about the American people's loss of innocence. This is about the fear each of us will now have when we head to the cinema. Is "40 Year-Old Virgin" really "the best comedy of the summer"? A couple of years ago I might have believed that. Now I have to wonder. Is that some marketing ploy, or is it really the best comedy of the summer? Is "Skeleton Key" the "best thriller of the year"? Because I was told "Red Eye" was the best one.

Why isn't anyone protesting? Let's take America back! Let's take it back to the time when advertisers were honest, when marketing had heart.

If we don't, we'll have to face another David Manning.


Sidecar said...

We've been duped. :(

OsakaJack said...

I blame Canada. They even say their enchiladas are good for you.

Idea Assassin said...

Let's ask China, Vietnam, Cambodia, Thialand, New Guinea, etc., etc. if they feel sorry for Japan getting bombed or if we should apologize...

Butternut said...

Trust Leonard Maltin, that's about it.

Maltin gives Knight's Tale 2 out of 4 stars. I actually liked it, but then I thought it was going to suck hard and it didn't.

Maltin gives The Animal a BOMB, 0 out of 4. I didn't see that movie. Even I'm not that stupid. Plus I'm suspicious of any movie from a former SNL player.

Sony tried to give us Betamax, MemorySticks, Mini discs, etc. etc. We've been ignoring Sony for years.

I heard from friends that 40 year old vigin is good. But I only trust Maltin.

Oh man, now I gotta watch Top Gun again.

Topic switch!

Laura, I think you're on to something big here. The baby eating. I mean this could be the new "ass". You know, the new catch phrase that everyone uses for a few years. Everyone says "That smells like ass", "This tastes like ass", "This is ass", etc. I think eating babies has this potential. I heard you blog about it, then I heard people at work talk about how something was so evil that it "eats babies". *Ding* the magic idea bulb goes off.

I think you could easily do 5 minutes of schtick about eating babies. This could be it! Your Sledge-o-matic, your Nanoo-nanoo, your "You look mahvelous".

I heard that Rob Schneider's new movie eats babies.

Laura Swisher said...

Oh Idea Assasin! No need to bring up more atrocity.

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