Saturday, September 17, 2005

The News Game

Here are three news stories. One story is completely real; one is completely fake; one has a real headline, but a fake story. Which is which?

NO GOOGLING!
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40 Year-Old Virgin Sues The 40 Year-Old Virgin

A neighbor of actor Steve Carrell has filed a lawsuit against Universal Pictures claiming the film is based on his own life.

The man—Edward Pantone, 43—says no one got permission from him for the story rights, and says it’s more than a coincidence that there are so many similarities between his life and the film. Pantone, a virgin, works in the electronics section at Sears and has a sizeable collection of anime DVDs and characters.

The movie stars Carrell as a forty-year old virgin who works at an electronics store and collects action figures. His buddies make it their mission to find him a woman.

Pantone claims that everyone he knows that’s seen the movie assumes the character is based on him. “People at work call me Andy,” he says, a reference to the movie’s lead character. “It’s embarrassing. I just want to do my job.”

Universal hasn’t commented on the lawsuit, and Carrell’s agent said Pantone’s claim was merit less.

The suit was filed in New York City.
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New Trojan Swaps Porn for Koran

Sex may sell in the United States, but not in Dubai. In a bid to gain a Middle East market presence, Trojan Condoms has quietly introduced packaging featuring Koranic versus on condoms. Each condom contains a message for its user, such as “Allah is love” or “Blessed be Allah.”

Dubai is one of the wealthiest cities in the United Arab Emirates and its citizens have some of the freest attitudes toward sex of any Islamic regions.
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Diddy Was Dropped by His Fans

Diddy was left floored after he tried to crowd surf at a concert and was dropped by his fans.

The rapper, formerly known as P. Diddy, was performing at top Ibiza nightclub Space when the embarrassing mishap took place. .
According to revellers, the hip-hop star got so excited during the performance he leapt into the crowd, but instead of catching him they moved out of the way and let him hit the floor.

One onlooker said: "He took a dive from the stage , expecting to be caught by his fans. But no one caught him and he landed with a thud on the floor."

After picking himself up, Diddy - real name Sean Combs - reportedly limped back on stage and carried on. The rap star changed his name for a fourth time in July after claiming he was sick of the old moniker and tired of people never knowing whether to call him P or Diddy. .

23 comments:

Kevekev101 said...

P. Diddy is a real headline, fake story; the Trojan condom story is totaly made up; the 40 year old virgin is completely true - at least I hope it's true. A 43 year old virgin working at Sears, and willing to admit it publicly? Please let that be true. (P.S You need your own Podcast. Or at least a new co-host.)

Clinton Freeman said...

I agree with everything kevekev101 wrote except the stuff about the podcast.

Eddie said...

Diddy is fake, condoms is real, virgin is messed up, if I get this right I had better win absolutely nothing or your ass is mine.

Butternut said...

I'm just hoping P. Didddy (the P is for pretentious, Poo Daddy, Pee Donkey, the King of P., whatever he wants it to be today), I'm just hoping he thinks he's Eddie Vedder and falls on his butt.

Praise be to Allah 'cos the sausage train is leaving Pantsville.

Vert said...

This was cool. Very creative. I agree with person number 1.

Laura Swisher said...

So far no one has guessed correctly. The answers will be revealed on my podcast, which should post tomorrow.

Keep the guesses coming.

Aaron said...

the Diddy story is completely real.

The Trojan story is a real headline and made up story. I believe it's about a Trojan horse virus thingie going around.

which means the virgin deal is totally fake.

Tim said...

My guess is that the Diddy story is true. The virgin story is the fake and the condom story is the true headline but a fake article. I don't doubt Koranic verses on condoms in Dubai, but I doubt Trojan Brand.

Did not Google.

Listened to the whole Ron Zonen podcast - have to post a review somewhere.

Tim said...

Wait a minute - Trojan itself in the headline. Duh. Trojan story fake - 40 year old virgin headline right - diddy story true?

Idea Assassin said...

Puff Daddy Diddy is true, i wouldn't catch him either, i might accidently touch his diddy...the virgin is a real headline made up story...the condom is false.

isthisnamefree said...

Lol a puff diddy. I bet he stood up saying "I thought I had clout, I'm puff dadday. How dare these people drop me". Might as well start calling him "Smitty" now because according to the fans he's about as important as Smitty the Janitor. Lil Jon wasn't the only one who was put to shame.

Aaron said...

is crowd surfing even popular in rap concerts?

Laura Swisher said...

Aaron nailed it. He also had to show off by alluding to the actual story.

To recap:
Virgin story = Completely fake
Trojan virus = True headline, fake story
Diddy Dropped = Blessedly real

Clinton Freeman said...

Great virgin story. I figured the Diddy story was at least partially, and I wanted the one you wrote to be true so badly that it completely stumped me.
Even looking at it now there is not obvious give-aways. I just assumed the "merit Less" was just a typo. It still feels more real to me than the real ones.

Aaron said...

woo hoo. What do I win?

And I agree, the virgin story was written very well, and I believed it at first until you said that no one guessed right yet.

I heard the diddy story on some show and remember on an episode of twit someone mentioning viruses and koran messages...

I have no damn life.

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