Friday, September 30, 2005

No Sex, You're Grounded

Ah…this brings back so many memories.

There was the time I was fourteen and got a D on a chemistry exam. I was slacking off and my mom knew it. My punishment? No sex for three weeks. Three weeks!!! Never mind I hadn’t started having sex at that point. It was the principle of the matter, and I was pissed. Nevertheless I got a B on the next exam.

Cut to my junior year in high school when I’m taking geometry. I get another D. My punishment? No heroin for a month. A month!!! But it worked. The following exam I got an A.

The point is, when parents actively insert themselves in a child’s life like this, it sends a message to the child that they care. You can bet that when I was grounded from raping anyone for a year, I made sure to make it home every night by my curfew.

I’m trying to pitch this message of parenting to NBC for its “The More You Know” campaign.

Now I must get back to work.

129 comments:

NickDSchultz said...

You, Ms. Swisher, are a very odd individual. But it's cool, we love you anyways.

I'm the exact opposite, my parents used to ground me from stuff that I did a LOT, like video games, computers, and all elecricity in general. I was a rebellious child. I didn't do any better in school and I found other stuff to do. I remember being grounded from everything except school, food, water and books. So I read.

I only get good grades when I feel neccessarily motivated to.

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Hey, editor, that really WAS an interesting site! I was about to say it was better than the Swish's but then realized that you are a bot-not a person-and your comment is SPAM-not a real opinion from a real human-and decided I had two choices:

1. Go out and kick a kitten and then call the police on the grandmother next door for being a meth lab, OR
2. Call my Mom and remind her that despite all the time she locked me in the closet, made me wear a Sunday suit to school and never having any friends over until I left for college, I still loved her.

Go Swish! Buy from SPAM!

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