Thursday, November 17, 2005

Billy Bob Thorton Ruined Christmas...

For Swiss children. That's the conclusion I came to after reading this article about the Santa lap ban. Children will no longer be able to sit on Santas laps. I'm wondering if they saw "Bad Santa". Maybe they just read the news. Says the article:

"We want to counteract any possible accusations of paedophilia involving our members," the Society of St Nicholas said in a statement. "We regret having to do this, but the public has become very sensitive about child abuse."

Then again there's a fine line between pedophelia and art. You know, one person's pedophelia or indecent exposure is another person's art.

Okay, that transition was a bit of a stretch. But how can you not link to a blog when its creator gets arrested for indecent exposure and pleas "art"? Now he's a mini celebrity. It's becoming clear to me that I should have been exposing myself years ago. If I start now, it'll just be hack.



Tim said...

I was all set to make a crack about you starting to expose yourself now, but the reality of this article dropped into the pit of my gut like a stone.

I can't FATHOM a future where kids not only can't sit on Santa's lap, but have to learn why this is "because Santa might want to hurt you."

It makes me want to f'n scream. Laura if you started exposing yourself, I'd still scream but it would be a good scream. Like a Tarzan yell.

There is no way to chalk this up to Switzerland either because this witch hunting behavior will be on our doorsteps before you can say Ho Ho Ho.

I wish this was funny.

Tim said...

Ok I read that article where we learn that "the alleged exposure was one in a series of social experiments meant to assess cultural taboos in society involving awkwardness around the human body."

Thems mighty big words for "I like to be naked. Look at my weiner."

Must admit, his passive aggresiveness stance is well rehearsed - hiding his glee at being seen naked behind the flag of "your just upset because you are oppressed behind your cultural taboos".

I am twice as creeped out as I was five minutes ago. Hence twice the posting.

Vert said...

This is crazy. Who's next the Easter Bunny? -laughs- If Laura started exposing, then we would have to get subscriptions and stuff. I can't afford

Antonio Gramsci said...

Stay covered. Weezy says you have a penis.

NickDSchultz said...

While watching me try to deny my desire to see an attractive woman naked would be hilarious at best, I believe that you're too classy for that.

Besides, you're already a celebrity, you're Laura freakin' Swisher!

VagabondLoafer said...

L, couldn’t proactive parents adapt preventative measures like PottyTop?
A little common sense might make the kids safer around Santa.

Clinton Freeman said...

Laura, I too vote not to expose yourself. It would be hack, but if you want to send me photos and total distribution rights I'm sure I can put a positive spin on selling them. How does, "She did it for the cause!" sound.

Healer2K said...

I'm pretty conservative when it comes to this sort of thing... I'd say you should use your members here as a test focus group. Send the pics to us, see our reaction, and go from there. :D

Healer2K said...

p.s. - Just thought of a way we could salvage the whole Santa's lap thing... Have MILF's, I mean MOMS, sit on Santa's lap on behalf of the kids, and relay the kids' requests as their proxy.

Everyone goes home happy, and Santa very likely will even take a pay cut willingly, saving department stores millions of dollars, which they'll then gladly pass on to the consumer. :D

isthisnamefree said...

Nothing wrong with exposing yourself, it's what God intended.

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