Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Never Too Old to Drink




I guess I've been pretty morbid lately. I'm sorry if it's sometimes hard to take. Thank you, David, for sharing your concerns.

In happier news, an elderly home in Dublin has just provided a pub to its residents, a move that offers residents respite from old age as it simultaneously reinforces Irish stereotypes.

For years conventional wisdom told us that seniors enjoyed bingo and visits from relatives. Turns out they just wanna have fun. Are strip clubs far off?

Also, here's something you should know: The bird flu virus is mutating rapidly and might already be transmittable via human to human contact.

23 comments:

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Antonio Gramsci said...

I haven't heard of this "bird flu." What is it exactly?

Also, you MIGHT want to turn on verification to keep these mfin' spammers at bay. Or in the bay.

Tim said...

That's better!

Here's to the Bird Flu.

*raises glass*

Peabo DeBarge said...

i think bringing them some strippers would be a good idea, i'm sure uncle seamus wouldn't mind seeing a nipple or two while enjoying his guinness...as long as the residents aren't the ones on the pole.

DogsDontPurr said...

Hey, maybe the bird flu will wipe out all the spammers!
Either that or...we're all gonna die!!!!!!!!

NickDSchultz said...

Aw, thank's for the consideration, Laura.

As for this issue, I really have no comment, as the Schultz family is resilient as hell but die of Heart failure at 65, so we don't get the time to go senile and be put into homes.

Cool story about the resilience thing, though. My elder brother got into a car accident a few years back and it was amazing he survived at all, his pelvis was shattered into 8 pieces. The doctors told him he would PROBABLY never walk again, and a month later he was on his feet, in rehabilitation, and they told him it was practically impossible for him to be able to walk without a limp, but now he strides around faster than me.

Why I posted that in Laura Swisher's blog, I have no idea...

VagabondLoafer said...

Guinness is good!
Wow! That pub opens early at 11a.m. Maybe that’s the old-age equivalent of 6 p.m. happy hour. It’s sad to read of their charging normal prices when so many seniors are living on a fixed income. Geez, give ‘em a break.

That bird flu keeps mutating. Someday our lucky number combination will come up. I lost a great-grandfather and two grandaunts to the outbreak in 1918. Here we are only almost a century later and the only emergency plan our government has involves the military. Read - Lots and lots of shiny, sharp, pointy bayonets.

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Butternut said...

Bird flu hype has been running like crazy on Discovery Channel and the other 12 spin-offs. It's like SARS part 2. Getting tired of it already, especially since there's nothing we can do. Time to have a drink at the local strip club!

I have some quick notes on human resilience, since we aren't on the subject. I know a guy who was in a parachuting accident. He was turned in a puddle of goo, but lived. He was in the hospital for about a year rehabbing. Now he's walking around with a slight limp, if that. I'm sure he's going skydiving again soon. Note #2, I'm convinced grandma butternut is some kind of super human space alien undying Greek goddess or something. She's been through more car accidents, brain injuries, cancer, stroke, broken hips, infections, blah blah blah and she STILL corrects my English.

If you want to feel less morbid I suggest stop watching the news and go for a walk. Works for me.

NickDSchultz said...

The News is a pretty terrible show, all the stuff they show is about making us afraid, as I see it...

Most TV makes me sad...

I watch Aqua Teen Hunger Force, X-Play and AOTS if I get the chance to watch TV.

I get all my news from digg.com

Clinton Freeman said...

There have only been 65 deaths from bird flu. No one knows if the flu is mutating. No one knows how flu mutate. Don't worry about get avian flu from people. Just don't play chicken limbo and you'll be fine.
It's cooties that will kill you.

NickDSchultz said...

I find it funny that people think that cooties are fake...

What are STDs, then?

Antonio Gramsci said...

STD is something you put in your engine to improve performance. More important than that, what's a condom?

I believe that living in New Orleans is going to make my immune system super-human. I will be resistant to every virus, bacterium, paramecium, and bloomin' algae and bloomin onions.

Bring it on, microscopic world!

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Healer2K said...

ROFL @ Zahra

So anyway... Yeah... Old folks do like fun. Didn't you hear about that one home where they were bonin' in the swimmingpool like jackrabbits? Or rather, like jacksalmon. It was really gettin' outta hand. And this was PRE-Viagra. I think...

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