Saturday, December 03, 2005

He Fell Asleep and I Woke Up Pregnant

Hey Canadians:

Good news. Rape just got easier! This might be just the push I need to to move there. Women in general get a bad rap for being "easy". With courts in Canada deciding that involuntary sex might be caused by "sexsomnia" (the man is asleep and, therefore, not aware that it's even happening), women would be more free to sleep around. They could claim they didn't mean to have sex, it just happened while they were sleeping.

Here's one thing I have trouble understanding, however. The judge ruled "sexsomnia" because the man claimed he only discovered sex had happened when he went to the bathroom and found a condom on himself. Aren't condoms hard enough to put on awake? I mean, you have to, first of all, open the package, and then put it on the right way. Can that really happen asleep?

I'm sure you'll get some man-hating womens groups saying "No", but to them everything is rape, even unconsensual sex. These women really need to get laid more.

12 comments:

Son of Gigan said...

Hear that ladies??? I TOLD you it's a MEDICAL CONDITION that makes it seem like I'm asleep during sex. Now call me back!

Butternut said...

It was all just a dream you silly girl!

I wonder if the Twinkie defense would work in these cases too.

Clinton Freeman said...

I thought for sure I had a little willy joke, but damn if the real story didn't blow it.

Cole Wynter said...

I don't know whether to laugh out loud or shake my head. Considering I heard that guy had 4 women testify on his be half (as witnesses of course to his sexomnia) I'll probably just scratch my head instead.

Healer2K said...

As long as they acknowledge that there's also Klampyerbalzinnavise-omnia.

Clinton Freeman said...

A scary story in many ways, but at least we know those Canadian subliminal safe-sex ads work.

Clinton Freeman said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Vert said...

Interesting way to avoid mens rea. I agree it seems highly unlikely a sleepwalker would be concerned about safe sex. It is really strange that someone would basically have an unconscious heuristic to use a condom. It would seem that the guy's volition wouldn't negate the fact that the act was unconsensual and it should still constitute rape. If anything the sexsomnia should be considered only to reduce his sentence. This is a weird case. However, I think given the fact he had prior knowledge of the disorder he should be held guilty. Are Ontario's prosecutors that weak...geez...

Vert said...
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Clinton Freeman said...

Ms. Swisher,

This would be a good subject for a LAWYER!!
Nudge nudge, wink wink, know what I mean, know what I mean, say no more, say no more!

Tim said...

My thoughts on this post:

a) Sexsomnia would be a great user ID or forum handle.

b) Condoms are not hard to put on (unless what your putting it on isn't hard) but in one's sleep, probably not.

c) When I say no I really mean yes.

Orion said...

Just remember, we're not all like that.

I'm getting a bit sick of the 'all men are rapists/child molestors' meme that's running about.

Switzerland's 'Santa Association' just banned allowing children to sit on Santa's lap because of 'the risk', and Quantas no longer allows minors to sit next to men because of 'the risk'.

Orion