Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Step Away From the Pen

What's this world coming to when you can't detonate a pen without it making headlines?

According to the LA Times, "The pens, which were lying on the ground in various parts of the schools, detonated when people pulled off the caps. The victims suffered minor burns and scratches on their hands and faces."

The key phrase in that last sentence is "minor burns and scratches". MINOR. So someone's missing a fingernail. Good pranks will do that sometimes.

What I love best is that officers are advising students and faculty not to pick up any pens lying around. I love that the very tools kids need to learn, are literally blowing up in their faces. Lovely. If students were smart, they'd find a way to rig the chalk. Teachers can't teach when there's a risk of chalk attack. They'll have to let students out early.


Clinton Freeman said...

I'm so excited. I finally subscribed to this blog, so I wouldn't have to keep checking if you posted and less than ten minutes later I get notice. Whoopee. My subscribing made you post.
The down side is I don't know what to do to make you write the next piece?

ChozSun said...

Our society disproves the theory of evolution. We should be past ignorance, racism and the like and our society should strive for knowledge, wisdom and understand.

No, our children are making exploding writing utensils. Weeeee!

Bombardier Beetle FTW!

Vert said...

Sounds like the second place science fair winner is still bitter. Everybody should be a winner. :)

Tim said...

Happiness is a warm pen.

Orion said...

Clearly the only solution here is a program of pen registration so that we know where these criminal pens are coming from!

If necessary, we can, of course, ban the posession of pens. After all, what do people really need pens for in this modern age of word processors?


Vert said...

No government regulation of pens. You cannot take my right to bear pens. The pen is mightier than the sword and a drunken pro wrestler. I will use my pen if necessary to combat terrorism and foreigners taking our 10 cent an hour jobs overseas. In protest I will put a rack on the back of my SUV and mount my pen as a symbol of our constitutional forefathers intent of use of pens of any shade or color.

-Sponosored by the Southern Coalition of Bic Users

Orion said...

Pen-Nut! C'mon - if it saves only a single child, it's worth it!


Clinton Freeman said...

Freak exploding pens. I've tried evrything and can't make Laura blog again. I registered at adultswim.com. I've tried voodoo dolls. I even created a "make Laura Swisher blog" dance. Nothing worked (Although the dance may have made it snow.)
Help a brother out. You know Kwanza - Umoja -Unity. That stuff.

BTW The spellchecker on my Google toolbar doesn't seem to want to work her.

Healer2K said...

Orion... PENS don't kill people! People kill people! lol!

Laura... First the Black men thing... and now you're encouraging terrorist attacks against American school teachers. I think I need to run this one by Homeland Security too. You could be in a lot of trouble here.

If you need the name of a good attorney, drop me a line!

Orion said...


Yeah! People with PENS!

(I'll have to beg forgivness from Queen for that one...)


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