Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Eat Your Vegetables or Die

If you don't want to end up like Scott Martin, you better eat your spinach.

I'm not a parent, but if I were, I'd have a framed copy of this article about a twenty-year-old who bled to death on account of complications resulting from malnutrition. I would also photoshop the article a bit and add extra "facts": Scott Martin would likely have been able to survive the teeth extractions had he gone to bed on time each night at 9 p.m. That, coupled with his penchant for Playstation and XBox, ultimately led to his excruciatingly painful death.

7 comments:

Tim said...

Do cigarettes count as vegetables for the sake of this discussion?

Clinton Freeman said...

How does someone begin eating only white bread and fast food french fries? Did he go straight from mater's teats to tater tots?
I blame his mum. He was dumb to eat like a bum, but she was a crummy mummy.

ChozSun said...

I am the lone jackass who believes in The Creation.

I believe evolution does happen but in not in the sense that monkey into humans. Scott Martin proves the Theory of Evolution. He is the dumb one in the pack who is too slow to realize that the rest of the herd has moved ahead because there is a pride of lions stalking them out.

VagabondLoafer said...

That’s a sad story. Drinking beer and lifting weights, I wonder how I ever made it out of my teens and twenties. OK, and maybe some Italian & American home cooking in there as well. Linguini, liver and Brussels sprouts yummy. Pinocchio meets ‘The Beav.’ Such was my childhood.
For those who missed it here is the complete transcript from Laura’s appearance on VH1’s ‘Heartbreakers Hall of Shame’ Monday night. Forty-five minutes into the hour-long program. And I am quoting here: “Oh, Hugh, Hugh, Hugh, Hugh, Hugh.”
Where do I send a letter of complaint?

LEGENDnyc said...

A good story which should serve as a warning. I approve of your additions. The UK link seemed a bit pokey earlier.

Ian said...

What. The. Fuck.

Jesus said...

that is some crazy shit...