Tuesday, February 21, 2006

First They Go After Dodgeball...


















Then they go after tag. Without the appropriate intervention, our schools will turn into a hotbed of criminal activity where she-thugs run riot on the playground, terrorizing fellow students with exercise and sport. If there's any justice in this world, 12-year-old Brittney Schneider will be suspended and forbidden to take any more AP Spanish classes. Granted, the punishment can't undo a fat lip, but hopefully, over time, this young boy will one day be able to set foot on a playground again and his night sweats will eventually go away.

6 comments:

Clinton Freeman said...

This wasn't just any little girl. She's a star soccer player and the kicked the ball. Aren't her feet considered deadly weapons like boxers' fists?
Regardless, she probably to hit some poor geeky boy in her honors class within an inch of his life. I bet it was more like a scene from "Lord of the Flies" than "Disney's Recess."
And I bet she's the cute girl. It's always the cute one who is getting inappropriate attention who vents her hostility towards males on the runt of the litter.

Amadeo said...

Haven't they seen Dodgeball? You're sure to win if you go after the weaker kids.

Vert said...

Even if there is battery there's not going to be any worthwhile damages. That's embarrassing. What is this kid going to do in the future? I guess we'll have little kids walking around with cellphones with attorneys on speed dial. Yeah, we'll settle for a box of Capri-Sun, Spongebob band-aids, and season one of Pokemon. Next, they'll sue for defamation when their name is on the chalkboard.

Butternut said...

You can have my dodgeball when you pry it from my cold, dead hands.

"repeatedly and unnecessarily hit with the ball "

Doesn't the boy know how to duck and cover? Can you countersue for "being a dumbass pussy?"

Kato said...

Reminds me of the Bill Cosby bit about "Buck Buck".

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