Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Freshman Orientation Should Have Covered This

If this incident isn't an indictment of our national education system, I don't know what is.

I'm not a professor, but there are a few things I can teach our nations' college students.

1) No one sells $3.00 worth of marijuana.
2) Don't attempt to purchase marijuana from a police station.
3) If a cop ever asks you why he pulled you over, don't answer, "Because I'm wasted."
4) Don't smoke marijuana INSIDE your dorm room. One of the RAs will rat you out.
5) If you do attempt to purchase pot from a police station, wear something nice for the mugshot.

I'm probably missing some very important items. Feel free to add to the list.


Clinton Freeman said...

Don't do drugs. Drugs are bad. OK?

VagabondLoafer said...

How do you live that down at the next kegger on the quad? That poor thing couldn’t have done worse if she had gone out and scored a bag of Paraquat laced oregano stems.
Next time consider:
Vowing not to be taken alive.
Leave enough bail money with the Housemother.
The next time you get busted – and you will - tell the cops your parent is a paralegal and will get them all fired.
Give the police the “I’m working under-cover for the NSA” story and stick to it.
Remember she’s innocent until proven stupid in open court.

Butternut said...

Sounds like someone isn't getting their 'meds. Looks like you have once again predicted the future, Laura. Please refer to "You Won't Like Them When They're Angry".

No but seriously, you can buy drugs from the cops at the police station. The code word you have to use is "donuts". As in, "I want to buy a kilo of donuts, holmes."

Tim said...
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