Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Those Who Can't Do Karate, Teach Karate

My heart goes out to this criminal, a karate instructor who's about to go to prison for upwards of ten years. I have no experience with prison life, but I imagine you might get a little street cred and respect if fellow prisoners know you're a karate instructor. In essence, karate instructors are professional fighters. They make a living instructing people how to bust people up (in self-defense, of course).

But how to convince people of your toughness when you're brought down by two of your students, both ten-year-old girls...after you break into their home? I don't know that one can recover from something like this. Obviously he'll try to save face somehow.

"Dude, that Hello Kitty lunch box was hard! And when you get Bonnie Bell lipgloss in your eyes, it friggin stings, man. I'm tellin' you, these aren't regular ten-year-olds girls. These girls were huge, and plus I taught them how to fight. That's how good I am. Hey, back off. Get away from me, man. Cut it out! Ouch. Stop it!"

That's how I'm imagining things might go down for him in prison.


Clinton Freeman said...

The article said three things:

First, the girls are twins, so they got that freaky twin thing going.
Second, he's a part-time karate instructor, but they are full-time, blue bell karate students.
Third, the girls screams alerted their parents, so the guy ran away.

What it didn't say was what weapon the girls used -- Dodgeballs.

Butternut said...

When you can take the zip tie from my hand then you will be ready, grasshopper.

Matthew said...

Do you think as he was escaping, he paused a moment on the window seal and looked back at the young tykes and couldn't help as a slow proud grin spread upon his face?

OR: And another haunting prophecy from the film "3 Ninjas" is fulfilled.

ALSO: I wonder what Ricky Kang would think about this?

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Erik Mann said...

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