Thursday, March 30, 2006

Science Says You're Dull

A new machine can tell you if you're boring. It's a device that analyzes the emotions of its videotaped subjects.
The software picks out movements of the eyebrows, lips and nose, and tracks head movements such as tilting, nodding and shaking, which it then associates with the emotion the actor was showing. When presented with fresh video clips, the software gets people's emotions right 90 per cent of the time when the clips are of actors, and 64 per cent of the time on footage of ordinary people.

This is really exciting. It means that in the near future I can videotape my interactions at cocktail parties and let the software analyze how amusing I was throughout the evening, kind of like going over my comedy sets. I'll know which stories to retell and which stories to leave out. I can learn to make small talk a science.

It's too bad I can't tape the facial expressions of those who read this. But then again, maybe I wouldn't want to know.


Clinton Freeman said...

80% of the time my expression is exactly like my avatar.
17% of the time I'm squinting to see the monitor.
2& of the time my head is down and I'm squinting to see my keyboard.
The other 1% is the look I get when I'm struggling to be a bigger smart-ass than you are. Once I'm able to do it, I'll use the last percent to practice my mime.

Tim said...
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Aaron said...

who can't tell if someone is boring? I mean damn. I refuse to read the article, but I'm sure it's meant for people who are in denial of their lack I always thought that's what drugs were for anyway. The biggest druggies are probably the most boring people on earth. Using this theory the ODB was probably near pope-like under that clowd of intoxiation..God rest his sole.

Aaron said...

i can't believe I spelled soul wrong. My drug induced haze has taken it's toll.

Matthew said...

If a person is boring the device should shock their gonads.

Clinton Freeman said...


Butternut said...

If you need software to tell you if you are boring, you are.

Off-topic: just read this and thought of your blog. Hope it's not old news:

Q: How many Bush Administration officials does it take to change a light bulb?

A: None. There is nothing wrong with the light bulb; it's conditions are improving every day. Any reports of its lack of incandescence are delusional spin from the liberal media. That light bulb has served honorably, and anything you say undermines the lighting effect. Why do you hate freedom? Why don't you support our troops?