Tuesday, April 18, 2006

For Tom & Katie: How to Dehydrate Placenta












Everyone's favorite scientologist (sorry, John Travolta), Tom Cruise, has shared that he will eat Katie's after birth, also known as placenta. Tom should know that placenta-eating is not to be taken lightly. I've never eaten any myself, but people I've Googled have. According to author Jeannine Parvarti, from her book Hygieia: A Woman's Herbal, "When you first encounter the meat, remember to pause--placenta can be sacred food, if you let the meat tell you how to prepare it for the fire.... Chew slowly, till the placenta becomes a liquid, ambrosia. Placenta is a rare privilege for most of us."

Obviously, if placenta is sacred for regular people, it's super sacred if it's from Joey Potter.

Also note that while I've created this entry specificaly for Tom & Katie, anyone can choose to dehydrate their placenta. That said, if anyone reading this has a hankering for this sacred meat, take care where your lady gives birth. Some hospitals won't let you take your placenta with you!!! In Hawaii, a couple's doctor "at Kaiser Permanente hospital refused, explaining that under state rules, the afterbirth is treated as medical waste and destroyed." I doubt that would have happened with TomKat, but still, as a mortal, you should ask your doctor ahead of time if you can take the organ home with you. If you do take it home with you, be sure to refrigerate it. Don't make the mistake of leaving it on the counter.

FUN FACT! VEGANS ARE ALLOWED TO EAT PLACENTA BECAUSE IT'S THE ONLY MEAT THAT DOESN'T INVOLVE THE KILLING OF A LIVING CREATURE

SECOND FUN FACT - SOME PEOPLE BELIVE THAT EATING THE PLACENTA HELPS WITH POSTPARTUM DEPRESSION BECAUSE OF THE HIGH CONCENTRATION OF CERTAIN NUTRIENTS, LIKE VITAMIN B6

Anyway, following is a recipe for dehydrating the placenta. Tom & Katie could also choose to fry it up with garlic and onions, but the advantage of dehydrating placenta is that you don't have to eat it all right away. Here it is. Enjoy!

I tracked this down from the website Mothers 35 Plus:

Cut off the cord and membranes. Steam the placenta, adding lemon grass, pepper and ginger to the steaming water. The placenta is "done" when no blood comes out when you pierce it with a fork. Cut the placenta into thin slices (like making jerky) and bake in a low-heat oven (200-250 degrees F), until it is dry and crumbly (several hours). Crush the placenta into a powder - using a food processor, blender, mortar and pestle, or by putting it in a bag and grinding it with rocks. Put the powder into empty gel caps (available at drug and health food stores) or just add a spoonful to your cereal, blender drink, etc. The recommended doses vary, some suggest up to 4 capsules a day, others just one.

4 comments:

Eddie said...

I usually have a cast iron stomach but that was rough. The text was pretty bad but the picture put it over the top. My soycream (french vanilla) was working its way back out.

Clinton Freeman said...

Have we gone back to the eating babies thing?
I wasn't going to read this and comment, but I have enough trouble eating anyway so it didn't make things worse.
I don't know what made me sicker to my stomach, the idea of eating organ meat or the garlic and onions. How would people think to do that? Were they trying to put placenta on their face, missed, and got it in their mouth?

Butternut said...

Can I get mine supersized?

TOM CRUISE WANTS TO EAT HIS BABY... reports the Clinton News Agency.

Clinton Freeman said...

Butternut,
I don't want there to be any possible misunderstandings. I, Clinton Freeman of Brooklyn, NY, USA, had nothing to do with saying that Tom Cruise wants to eat his baby.
I'll say negative things about Bush in a second, but I won't mess with Scientologists.