Sunday, April 16, 2006

When Rock Bottom Has Embroidered Cushions

I know we're approaching peak oil, and the worlds' scientists should probably be devoting their time to technologies that decrease our energy dependence; however, I think I could forgive them if they decided to work on hangover-free alcoholic beverages.
Psycho-pharmacologist David Nutt, from the University of Bristol in Britain, says the cocktails would be designed to mimic the pleasurable effects of alcohol without the downsides.

They would allow people to get merry but not legless, wake without a hangover, and avoid effects such as nausea, memory loss, depression and aggression.

Nor would they damage the liver, as alcohol does.

My only question is this: How do you know if you're an alcoholic if you don't experience depression, nausea or hangovers? And won't this type of drink make AA meetings way less interesting? I mean, if addicts feel good about themselves we won't get to hear the devastating tales of woe that come from waking up naked in a totalled Ford Aspire just outside of Barstow. And asking a towtruck driver if you can borrow his t-shirt to cover your bruised and exposed chest is often the first step on your road to recovery.

I just hope the scientists figure these questions out before the miracle drinks are released.


Phill said...

so 1984

Butternut said...

What's the point of drinkin til you puke, if you can't puke? I mean, how do you know when to stop? And with no hangovers I might actually be nice to the Jehovah's Witnesseses on Sunday. Can't have that.

At least with rampant euphoria we should be ass deep in Girls Going Wild and booty calls. The future looks bright.

Aren't they describing pot? I dunno, call me crazy.

Clinton Freeman said...

Sometimes it wrong to make some things easier. Getting drunk is one of them.
If so many people weren't already so messed up few people would drink enough to get hangovers, but when people don't have anything else to comfort them they do selfdestructive. It's like the sensory deprived kids that used to be in mental institutions who would bang their heads against walls until they knocked themselves out.
Drugs are bad. Happiness, selfesteem, and empowerment are good. Let's see them bottle them.

Matthew said...

Finally my two loves are combined: booze and pills!