Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Activist Thieves Giving German Police a Headache















Hamburg is experiencing a crimewave that's benefiting its homeless. A group of thieves dressed as superheroes are targeting purveyors of expensive food stuffs and robbing the supermarkets to provide gourmet food to the city's poor.
Carsten Sievers, the manager of a luxury supermarket in the wealthy Blankenese area of Hamburg, recently watched the robbers run off with trolleys full of expensive foodstuffs, including Kobe beef which, at more than £100 a pound, is always on their illicit shopping list.


First, let me say that I do not advocate any kind of crime. Unless, of course, said crimes are pulled off in superhero costumes. I've always maintained that there's a thin line between crime and performance art, and I feel that these modern day Robin Hoods have crossed the line. And unlike much performance art out there, this is actually entertaining.

Obviously, I do have some concerns. I worry that the poor will not appreciate Kobe beef or caviar. I'm hoping they're mentally balanced enough to savor pistachio crusted salmon, or whatever types of foods they're given.

And when is this going to catch on in the U.S.? Where are our super heroes? Who is going to take on Whole Foods, Bristol Farms and Dean & Deluca? By the way, Gelsons, I've got my eye on you, too. You're borderline.

How cool would it be if gangs stopped trafficking in guns and drugs and switched to foie gras?

2 comments:

duboisist said...

Errol Flynn.

My sister goes to this 4-star restaurant at least once a week. The owner wants to start a sort of beer garden for people who want to spend less, eat simplier food, or dine more casually.
Hee got a beer company to put up a tent, but the head of some snob snob committe wants him to stop because it might attract the wrong kind of people.
Meanwhile I can't wear my cap to get takout from the neighborhood Applebee's. It's all relative.
Delusions of grandeur aren't limited by true social status. There will always be a jerk off who needs to exclude others to feel important.
I'm thinking of getting a custome and telling the Applebee's guy I can't review my secret identiy. Then I'll tell the board lady I need to watch the night sky for the emergeny signal, so I can't come in.

BTW, I intended to show you this
Cingular Pulls Ringtone Deemed Offensive
.

Tim said...

I wrote a STUPID long reply to this which had no nutritional value and my browser knew it and bombed. Don't cry for me Argentina.