Friday, July 14, 2006

To Do: Rob Walmart

I've gone out of my way not to steal from Walmart for some time now, and it looks like my wait is over. And not a moment too soon! I have a birthday party to go to tonight and it looks like someone is going to get some new dinnerware. I'd obviously prefer to get her the Sunset Tranquility dishes, but that might involve jail time.

Thanks Walmart!


Tim said...

Ha! I read this yesterday and couldn't believe it. I read this:

"If I have somebody being paid $12 an hour processing a $5 theft, I have just lost money," J. P. Suarez, who is in charge of asset protection at Wal-Mart, told the paper. "I have also lost the time to catch somebody stealing $100 or an organized group stealing $3,000."

And all I could think was TWELVE bucks an hour? I've never dealt with anyone at Walmart who treated me like they were getting 12 bucks an hour to be my flunky! Anyway the whole thing seems kinda odd but I dig it. But now it is OUR responsibility to put this new corporate manifesto to the test for Mr. and Ms. Twelve-bucks-an-hour. "Hey can you scan this? Is it less than 25 bucks? No? Aw nevermind."

Have a good weekend Laura and all ye phantoms who blow through here.

VagabondLoafer said...

You'd think that Wal-Mart would be making enough money to maintain a policy of prosecuting absolutely everyone – Um, every shoplifter that is.
Yeah, they'll save money by not coughing up the bucks to prosecute a five-dollar theft and pass the cost/savings on to their customers. Evidently doing right does have a price.
The convenience stores in my town have announced a new policy. Every seventh stickup is "on us!"

Butternut said...

The article is a bit misleading. They never used to prosecute any theft of any value if they never caught the person. This just means it's a slap on the wrist from the greeter if it's $25 or less. So just steal things in pieces, one dinner plate at a time. I don't know how that will work with a plasma TV though.

"Assembled in Country of Origin: Imported" - understatement of the year

Number of children oppressed: Low prices!*
Number of American jobs lost: er... Low prices!*

I am not a phantom, although I am the bomb, yo.

*Low prices policy only applies if you still have a job to afford them.

NakedZoo said...

An idea whose time has come.