Thursday, July 13, 2006

A Sign You've Hit Rock Bottom

This man's former customers probably share the same rock bottom story at AA meetings, and I'm pretty sure it's, "I realized I needed help when I...slept with an 80-year old man for crack." Pretty sure this could qualify as the low point of someone's life. Easily.


Tim said...

I once read a "News Of The Weird" (and then cut and pinned same to the employee dining room bulletin board) about how suddenly having sex once a week is the emotional equivalent to a 50K annual raise. The "article" concluded with a phrase I couldn't forget "those who pay for sex, studies find, are the least happy of all." But LOOK at that guy! Does he look like he could be filed under "least happy of all"? No way! He's ready to high five the cops that are busting him. There's a lesson to be learned here I'm sure. Aw maybe not. Note I have never paid for sex except in the traditional "what’s left of my trust in exchange for a hint of human tenderness" type deal which I understand is (sadly) still legal.

Laura Swisher said...

I need to apologize to the man in the above pic. I Googled "old man" and grabbed him. I don't know him at all, but I would bet money he doesn't sell crack, or exchange it for sexual favors. Then again, you never know...

Tim said...

Well too late now - that's the guy I'm gonna associate with this story no matter what. Wait if he came up in the first few pages of a Google search for "old man" imagine how many stories he's been associated with across time and space! People are like "holy cow that dude again?"

Eddie said...

You mean to tell me that this old horndog couldn't find a golden girl to work in a gumby on the way down to eat at the Y before the weekly senior bingo and jaw-jackin' session?

Feel free to work in any other sexual innuendos (other then the sexual innuendo "sexual innuendo") you can think of.

Also, I have to agree with her that this doesn't really look like a dirty old man. He reminds me more of the old Italian guy in my neighborhood (Kew Gardens, Queens, New York) who would pat me on the head and give me a piece of hard candy. Not like the other old men in the neighborhood, who would pay me a dollar to sit in their car and not cry.

Finally, I googled "dirty old man", found no one worthy of the name, gave up on that and then google imaged "dirty old man" in hopes of finding a better candidate. You younger generation are throwing around that term far too loosely. I searched to the
25th page to find anyone even remotely close to resembling what a traditionally truly dirty old man looked like. One the decent parents and guardians of the neighborhood could ambush and murder on a moonless night and dump the body in the East River, gaining the peace of knowing that another unsolvable New York City murder was all that stood between their children and a decent upbringing.

These are the hoseheads I found:

Butternut said...

"He decided it's cheaper to pay for sex with crack than cash," she said.

I love the barter system. And he's getting the crack wholesale, so yes I'm sure it is cheaper. He must've also been dealing Viagra too.

If you want dirty old man pics find that Los Angeles registered sex offenders Google maps site. You won't like what you see though.