Saturday, September 09, 2006

A Bad Week to Mess with Women

I'm trying to decide which story I like more. The woman in a wheelchair who shot a mugger or the 51 year-old woman who strangled an intruder to death. I may have to go with the bare-hand strangle. Still, neither story makes me as happy as knowing that my governor might find me hot. I've been writing my name out on a piece of paper: Laura Schwarzenegger, Laura Swisher-Schwarzenegger, Laura Swishnegger, Laura Schwarzeswisher...

I know he's married but I just can't help myself.

6 comments:

Sean said...

I like Schwarzeswisher. I'm not sure though if you have a chance with Arnold, didn't you hit him with a rotten egg on his last campaign? :)

ballgame said...

Laura! You ARE totally hot!

Believe me, you can do so much better than Arnold Whatsisface.

Don't settle!

gxempire said...

Whats wrong with being the best of both worlds? Arnold shouldn't have had to apologize. On the same hand, didn't he, like 30 years later, have to apologize for grabbing that black girls butt back when they went to the same gym? Maria must be doin' something right to keep her man all to herself..he's obviously down with a little hazel nut blend in his morning beverage.

Tim said...

It's a fine line there sister - the champions of womens rights dot history going back hundreds of years but the day were so fucking pc I can't call you "hot" is the day there is no sense in having a 9 inch reporoductive organ. Was Kate Chopin hot? Oh but I'll bet she was. And she probably wasn't above being told so. But that didn't mean you were going to get a piece.

VagabondLoafer said...

Laura, though tempting, I don’t think you should become involved with the Governor. I would especially look out for his wife Maria Shriver – journalist, author and member of America’s most famous political family. Folks say: “Don’t tussle with Maria. She’ll snatch you bald-headed.”

Laura Swisher said...

Thank you everyone for your comments. I have decided not to pursue the governor. I don't want Maria's wrath. Also, he's a little old for my taste.