Friday, January 26, 2007

Would You Like a Donut with That Donut?

Finally, some news that really matters. A molecular scientist from North Carolina has discovered a way to caffeinate donuts and other pastries, which is awesome because who wants to drink coffee when you can eat donuts instead? Maybe now Dunkin Donuts can REALLY take over, maybe change their name to Dunkin-Free Donuts. Maybe...ah, I got nothing else right now. General question for you guys: What great invention will this scientist come up with next?


Butternut said...

The article is wrong in that a typical cup of coffee contains 100-125mg of caffeine. Two of those donuts and a cup of coffee and I'm bouncing off the ceiling for hours.

How about beer that contains Tylenol or condoms with penicillin? Sounds like a busy Saturday night. I'm working on a Corvette that dispenses Viagra and Rogaine. Ba-zing.

Clinton Freeman said...

I don't know about these donuts, but might I suggest keeping them away from Tig.
I don't know what you call those monstrosities, but I predict adding more caffeine to the empty calories, sugar, and fat of chocolate donuts will lead to calling more ambulances.
Why don't they just add crack and meth, call it a "Jack Kevorkian" and get it over with?

VagabondLoafer said...

Nice to see that former tobacco industry scientists are finding employment elsewhere.

Tim said...

Aw hell a few years ago I read a really interesting article on the historical uses of caffine and one of the more unusual things it has imbued are PANTY HOSE. That's right, for a while in the seventies (as I recall) certain hosiery was laced with caffine so it's wearer would absorb it through the skin and feel Energized! All I can think of is the scores of women who went ape shit when they couldn't find a fresh pair of Leggs in the morning.