Friday, August 03, 2007
Hard Worker or Bad Lay?
This is the question that's now plagueing me, after having read this article. You know those people who work overtime without complaining? It might just be because they suck in bed. And by "they", I mean "me". I thought I worked hard because I had a solid work ethic. Looks like there might be a deeper meaning. Yet another thing to bring up in therapy.
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3 comments:
You gotta use this as educational reading. First of all, the "study" seems to center around office employees; it doesn't bemoan the lack of happy sex lives on behalf of German ditch diggers and baristas. Second of all, there is a difference between "working hard" and staying two hours after the cleaning crew has come through and said goodnight to you by first name. I personally work very hard but that's because I build rocketships all day and that isn't easy. Ok so I don't really build rocketships. But I did learn ten years ago that cubicle life is the fastest route to the grave and that's why I work with a bunch of shithead kids in a fucking warehouse from hell busting my hump like the last man on earth I mean for GODS SAKE you'd think they could teach kids a little bit about work ethic! IT MAKES ME NUTS! WHAT THE HELL AM I TALKING ABOUT? Oh so ok there's also this; you now know EXACTLY who to target in the office for some pent up lovin'. That's right, it's Steve that lonely middle age guy with the fake limp who stays until the wee hours of the night. Unless of course he's cross dressing after hours and getting some digital booty through a webcam in which case forget Steve. In conclusion I am fucking dynamite in bed. Why? Because I unlike so many Rachel Ray fans decided in my youth to stay young forever and be able to see my toes and carry my mate around on my erection for hours at time. Talk about "deeper meaning".
Seriously - office life will do worse than rob you of your sex drive; it will give you three more asses than your body needs and hook you on afternoon bon bons. And "happy" hour. Hah!
Hell, I just googled "Ragnar Beer" to figure out why a beer company would give a shit about this. Turns out it's a German doctor (don't bother, the site ain't in english, links included). The Germans get all the good last names. If only I was Eddie Jägermeister. I woulda gotten into that frat!
It appears to me that this, like many other studies, is full of it. Asking 32,000 students at University of Goettingen about sex is like asking the geeksquad at MIT about the bursting strength of a condom at standard temperature and pressure. And wouldn't you know the damn nerds have an answer! You want a sex study, you gotta go to the University Hochschule für angewandte Wissenschaft und Kunst - Fachhochschule Hildesheim/Holzminden/Göttingen. Everyone knows that! Those motherfuckers can party! And you wanna know the bursting strength of a condom? "It's when my dick explodes!" Sorry, I should leave it in the local German, "das tritt auf, nachdem meine Penis ausbricht!"
The Governator's spokesperson had no comment.
Probably went to the University of Goettingen.
The first line says it all: "Germans may suffer from lack of sex".
Does this means Germans are bad in bed? Most likely !
I am sure you offer a great deal for your partner. Don't be too hard on yourself...
-T
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