Friday, February 01, 2008

Super Tuesday for Dummies

Being a professional comedian, I'm constantly asked questions about how the political process works. The biggest question on peoples' minds these days is: Laura, is your hair natural? The answer, of course, is no. My hair is very UNnatural. The second biggest question people have is: "What is Super Tuesday?"

Super Tuesday is important because it's quite possible that the next president of the United States will have been chosen. On February 5th, 24 states hold their primaries. But it's not the candidates from either party that gets the most votes who will win their party's nomination, it's the candidate who gets the most beads from his or her party's delegates.

That's why if you live in one of the twenty-four states holding elections that day, you'll likely have been bombarded by advertisements of presidential candidates "showing their tits" or downing colorfully-named drinks like "Hurricane" or "Moonshine Grenade". Candidates also win beads by dressing up in elaborate costumes; the more elaborate the costume, the more beads a candidate receives.

After Hurricane Katrina there was a question as to whether Super Tuesday would continue. Thankfully, it has.

I hope this post has answered the question sufficiently.


Butternut said...

I just saw this on Fark and thought of you.

"I love children, but I can never finish a whole one by myself."

I'd rather see Obama's bare chest than Hillary's. I'm betting you'll agree. I'd really rather see Mrs. Kucinich's (FLILF), but that goes without saying.

"Z" said...

yanno I've been wondering what this was. I vaguely remember what it was called last year. I thought they called it super tuesday this year bc it was right after the superbowl not 2 mention one of the biggest days in political history. Thanks for clearin this up Swish. Glad your back!

Tim said...

I didn't feel super yesterday at all.

Kevekev101 said...

I know you're probably busy as hell, but I really miss you blogs.

Tim said...

When did Blogger start displaying chinese astrology? This is your year there sista. You should come back if only for the wealth of political comedy this summer.

Call me!

Butternut said...

You're in the news, sorta. Posted on

Phill MADCT said...

Hi Laura,

Are you still okay in the job market? I read about Cnet going down the tubes today and hoped everything was okay with you.

post more!!!

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Tim said...

Speaking of Laura, I saw Laura on the other day. Wonder what she could be looking for over there? Jesus don't you hate that shit - for some reason it's worse than spyware or cellphone sales calls. The advertisers of the future will wear swords.

Hi Laura!