Friday, June 13, 2008

Ed McMahon Killed By Drunk Driver

It's been a truly sad day today, made even sadder now by the news that Johnny Carson's sidekick, Ed McMahon, was struck and killed by an out-of-control RV on Mulholland Drive this afternoon. If Ed were alive, and heard the same news about someone else, he'd probably say "HEY oh". But he's NOT with us. And the reason he's not with us is because someone decided to get behind the wheel of an RV while intoxicated. If this news makes you upset, well, it should. Even if it's completely fabricated.

Sometimes when you have a really important message for people to hear, you need to say it in a way that will cause them to cry, even if you're a school teacher. Especially if you're a school teacher. The best way for kids to learn about the dangers of drinking and driving, is to claim a fellow classmate has died--preferably one of the popular, good-looking classmates. Inflicting emotional trauma on young people is in their best interest because it will help prevent dangerous behavior in the future. It's why I tell those closest to me that I have inoperable lung cancer. Because I don't want the people I love most to start smoking. Sadly, many of those people took up smoking right after I informed them of my inoperable AIDS as a way to teach them about the dangers of unprotected sex. The point is, to get people to understand the truth, you sometimes have to lie. And the folks at Mothers Against Drunk Driving who devised this program get that.

1 comment:

Butternut said...

Sounds like MADD has picked up a trick or two from our President. Them turrists are gonna gitcha! And they gonna drive drunk too, and run over your unborn baby. Gotta protect them childrens. Eh henh henh heh heh.

"they tried on “beer goggles” that mimicked the sensation of having a .25-blood alcohol level"
How you doing? Hic.

In other news, cell phones must be hands free July 1. Where's Mothers Against Drunk Dialers to teach our children about those dangers?